Inherently the answer to such questions comes down to the particular person’s wants and needs.
If they aren’t getting (what they want) they believe it’s something wrong with their mate. However in all honesty there is no “right or wrong” in relationships there is only “agree or disagree”. A person who is wrong (for you) may be right for another person. Each of us (chooses) our own friends, lovers, and spouse. If one is unhappy with their choice then they should learn from their mistake and make a better choice the next time around. YOU are the only one who can determine what is a good man or woman(for YOU). Creating a “shopping list” is worthless if the person lacks the discipline to stick to it.