When I was young, I believed I could grow to love anyone. However, familiarity brought a rude awakening. I now believe love begins with like.
When one dislikes another, it is difficult to see past the visceral emotional reactions that become a pattern with familiarity. When a controlling nature is a component for the dislike, it is impossible to feel positive about a situation where there are no winners. The dominant personality is never satisfied, as few can live up to their standards of perfection and the partner being controlled feels flawed, enslaved, bullied and resentful.
Friendship is earned over time by honesty, trust, and caring. The friendships I value have outlasted two marriages. The difference is that my friends value me, not as an appendage, but as a unique individual. The friendships I've fostered are mutually caring, with all parties accepting the other, just as they are. Whereas, both spouses expected me to change to suit their needs, leaving me with the realization that, short of morphing into a Stepford Wife, I had to make my own way without them.