It's very important to be intentional and plan time together. If you have children, being spontaneous gets harder and harder as they get older. If you do not plan time together, you will not spend time alone as a couple. Not only should couples plan 'dates', but also should plan sex. Monthly dates outside the home, and away from kids....you cannot talk about the kids, money, bills, work, or in-laws! Once a week have an in-home date (no tv, computers, electronic games). Once a year (at least) a weekend away to relax and re-evaluate your relationship.