Have you ever said "im sorry" to a friend even if its not your fault just to make peace with them?
Yes! I don't even remember how many times... but yes... just afraid not to lose them... I would say sorry even if it was not my fault! But soon I realized not all of them are worth it, just a few!
I have apologized for things which I was not to blame. At times we have to take ownership of the maintenance for our friendships. I have had times when I knew an I'm sorry would fix the problem. Now that I am a little older I am willing to give the apology with out prompting.
That is not peace, but undeserved control exerted by the other person; and it is dishonest and can become codependent. It can lead to simmering issues, stuffed feelings and relationships that do not work. Many people can learn sooner or later to talk things out and accept responsibility honestly for their part in misunderstandings. Sometimes a cooling off period is needed first.
I often do it. I prefer to say sorry, even if I am not the mistaken, rather than being pressurized for some time because of a problem. The thing which I find good is that people understand that they were the mistaken ones after I say sorry and they apologize.
I too have bowed down and assumed fault just to make peace with someone considered a friend. Only thing is, when you lower yourself to accomplish this demeaning task, the satisfaction derived is short lived. The person you apologize to, 99 percent of the time, develops the "I knew it" attitude, and in the long run; you've assumed fault for naught. Age has taught me not to assume responsibility for anything I'm not guilty of....regardless. In the case of an apology to someone in a marriage for behavior you didn't perform, it's a double bind situation. Most of the time, you're cursed if you do and your cursed if you don't
Yes, to have peace, to end the arguments and to let them know I value our friendship more than what i stand for! But lately I realized it's not always right, sometimes we should also help them realize the world is not always for them to manipulate by being firm...
I have on many occasions been the one to apologize regardless of who's fault it was..just to make peace..however..if the situation continues I may slowly bow out of the relationship..who would want to have friends like that ? I like people who take responsibilty for their words/actions and move on..by the way if you allow this behavior to continue you become co-dependent and this is not healthy....great question..remember, this is your life, why clutter it with extra baggage/garbage ?
I used to do that all the time with my two ex-husbands just to clear the thick-as-peanut-butter-air in my home upon my arrival. I no longer do that because I refuse to be uncomfortable in my own home. I "fired" both husbands and no longer tolerate those who can't communicate and/or admit they are at fault. (When I'm wrong or have unintentionally offended someone, I will be the first to admit it.) Too many times I've found men hear something other than what I say. It is very frustrating for me to tell them (constantly!) "I mean what I say and I say what I mean. LISTEN to the words that come out of my mouth!" Sheesh! I'd rather be alone! I talk to myself all the time and I know EXACTLY what I'm saying!
No more apologies, unless I have regret for the words that come out of my mouth.
by Elena 10 years ago
Do you apologise to people, even if you are NOT in the wrong – just for peace sake?I do sometimes, to avoid any stress but I don’t want people thinking I’m a soft touch.
by Abby Rourk 11 years ago
Should you apologize if a friendship is at risk, even when its 100% not your fault?When should you grin and bear it and say sorry to someone that you have a history with of many years of friendship, but that you were the one that was right and they were not, and they yelled that you were the reason...
by Susan Holland 12 years ago
What are some sincere ways to say, "I'm sorry" or "I apologize"?
by purpleangel47 13 years ago
I'm part of a family full of people who don't say I'm sorry. I had to actually learn how to say those words. My mother never said I'm sorry to me for some of the hurtful things she said and did.Have you ever had moments with family or friends where you couldn't utter those two words? Why?
by Heidi 11 years ago
When you've yelled at your child(ren), do you say you're sorry?
by kirstenblog 14 years ago
Can you say sorry when you are in a relationship and the other person is mad at you because you got mad at them for something they did? What if they refused to acknowledge that you had a reason to get upset in the first place? If you don't say sorry it might end the relationship?
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