This presupposes that submission is in some way bad.
There are great arranged marriages and horrible ones. There are love marriages that end in disaster.
When I was in Japan, I sat in one a class of women discussing arranged vs love marriages. All had been married for more than 20 years. What shocked me was the arranged marriages were all happy and the love marriages all sad.
As I listened and asked questions, I learned the women in arranged marriages went in with zero expectations and looked at the choice of partner in a very practical manner. The love marriages were the exact opposite.
Down the road, the arranged "friendships" grew into love, but the "hot and passionate" love marriages all cooled and the women was left married to a man she discovered she did not LIKE.
I am a submissive. I was raised to be a real and quite literal sex slave. I learned for my own sanity to embrace this and then learned to use my sexual submission to deceptively manipulate men. Oh My I can hear you say. Decption and manipulation these are bed and wrong.
I find them to be tools, no different than a hammer or a frying pan.
I seduced the son of my master and manipulated him not only into marrying me, but embracing that I cuckold him with a number of my guards, who are now my lovers and bodyguards. I still "submit" to all of them, including my husband who is a charming, caring and attentive man.
We are all fish swimming in the water of our lives. I accept my water and it sounds like you might be unhappy in yours.