Life is a personal journey and each of us gets to have our (own) "deal breakers". All relationships and marriages are (at will). Perception is reality. Things you would never put up with may be the norm for another person. As much as we'd like to tell them why they should end their marriage or relationship it always comes down to what THEY want for themselves. Some people have twisted ideas about what it means to love someone or honor a commitment. They put their wants and needs at the bottom of the list. Needless to say it doesn't help for people to drum into our heads the old cliché; "Relationships require a lot of work" This statment alone has probably caused more people to stay in bad relationships hoping for better times than any other.
My feeling is if it takes that much "work" then you probably chose the wrong person. Ideally you and your spouse should (naturally agree) on the major things in life and have the same goals for the marriage.
No amount of "communication" or "work" can overcome being with someone who does NOT want what you want. - One man's opinion! :-)