Excellent question, in my opinion.
All I know is that I am nowhere close to being a passive man, and quite frequently, assertive women are not drawn to me. Or else they are initially drawn to me and get turned off after they become thoroughly convinced that I am not one who can be ordered around.
Furthermore, even though I am not a passive man, I do not ever try to "boss around" the women who come into my life.
Even though I am a very "firm man," I have that laid-back California style. I have the ability to be in charge without coming off like I am in charge.