It is reported that 60% of men and 40% of women will have an extra marital affair, sometime during their marriage. Currently 52% of marriages end in divorce. Obviously, something is wrong with marriages and relationships. If I suspected an affair, I would first confront her with my suspicions. There are many senarios following that discussion. 1) She confesses and we must now examine the relationship to understand what precipitated such a chioce. If my part in the relationship contributed to her making such a drastic choice, then we have much to evaluate, changes we both must make and much about forgiveness we will learn about. If I was not complicit in her choosing such a course, we have nothing to talk about and she will have to go. 2) It is determined that my suspicions are unfounded and she is innocent. We have much to talk about. Were suspicions warranted? Are insecurities responsible? Is trust an issue. We have changes to make, and much about forgiveness we will learn about. 3) She is having an affair and does not confess, but lies instead. Eventually the truth will surface and you are confronted with be married to both a cheat and a liar. Not much to work with. Nothing to talk about and not much forgiveness can do to save the marriage. We are involved in disposable relationships and are inclined, too often, to end them without complete examination. If your part of the problem, then the next relationship may fall to the same devil. If a relationship is void of the glue necessary to hold it together, then it is vulnerable to attack from outside.
I am different I suppose, I don't think marriage protects relationship from attack. I think love protects relationship from attack. Most often, being vulnerable to affair indicates a problem easier blamed on the infidelity rather than fixing what created the infidelity. Sorry for so long a response. The ease in which we dispose of marriage is troubleling to me. I've been married for 43 years, happier now than ever, but, over that time, there were enough reasons to quit. We had much to talk about, changes to make and much to learn about forgiveness. If we didn't do it there, we would have had to in the next go round. Funny thing about running away, You, still end up with you, when you stop running. You simply left half the problem.