What are the best ways to re-gain self esteem after a traumatic relationship sit

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   Cristaleposted 11 years ago

   What are the best ways to re-gain self esteem after a traumatic relationship situations?

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   Babypenguinposted 11 years ago

   After being with my first proper boyfriend for 3 years, we lived together for 2 & a half of which, i literally fell apart as he ended it xmas day. I don't know how i regained self esteem but in all honesty it has taken me 3 years to fully get it back. I started by doing the things that made me and only me happy. I didnt think about boys, i slowly started going out with friends again. I joined the gym, worked out 5 nights a week (but this was due to my over comfort eating) There's no magical cure but i promise it will get easier a time goes on. I thought my heart would never mend. But nearly 4 years later i have met someone who is simply wonderful

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      Cristaleposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I have heard it takes as long as the relationship lasted to "get over it." It hurts, but the best things are not always the easiest. I have also heard that the best way is with another man. Just food for thought...

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   Super Luxposted 11 years ago

   self forgiveness and acceptance are the first steps.  appreciating yourself too helps.  surrounding yourself with supportive people.  it's painful but it helps.  i actually hubbed something about forgiveness and letting go.

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      Cristaleposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I know people can live a more free and satisfying life when they forgive and let go. It can do wonders for the soul!

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      Babypenguinposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Self forgiveness is a good key, it ended for a reason, thats just the way i look at it. It kills at the time, but as they say, time is a healer

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   Team Leaderposted 11 years ago

   Hello Cristale,
   
   What a tough question to answer! and I hope that you are asking this from a theortical point of view and not from your personal experience.
   
   If my current partner would leave me I would totally and utterly fall apart. I am actually making a real effort here to imagine this worst case scenario. I know from previous experiences that after a time of despair I would get my bum into gear and I would drag myself out of that hell.
   
   First of all I would get my appearance sorted: hairdresser, new clothes and a lot of exercise. Then I would declutter my house: burning anything that reminds me of him. Then I would look in the mirror and acknowledge everything that is good about me. Then I would ask my family and friends if they think that something is wrong with me and if this was the case I'd work on improving myself.
   
   Finally,  would curse a lot, stick a Limp Bizkit CD on and tell the "curse, curse" to go to hell.
   
   Your 'Team Leader'

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      Babypenguinposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Limp Bizkit..thats that im talking about!

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   raquelpierposted 11 years ago

   I was with my ex since the age of 15, married for more than 17 years, and had two teenage sons, 16 & 13 at the time, I discovered he was gay. After learning he had been with a male member of my family. (no blood relation to him) That was in 2008, and I am only now recovering. I was so in love with him and he was my best friend, so losing him was very much like a death for me. I sought therapy, wrote and write a lot, and went back to school. I struggle and struggled with feelings of being betrayed, but ultimately it was forgiving him and making peace with it and him, that allowed me to heal. My self-esteem suffered (ego) because I never had much of one to begin with...only I wasn't aware of that until I was no longer with him. Funny what love blinds us to, or from. "I never knew I had a choice" is the book I read that truly allowed me to see my worth. I hope it will help...

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   krillcoposted 11 years ago

   I have a new article coming up very soon that may help: Recovery from a Narcissistic Relationship.

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   stricktlydatingposted 11 years ago

   Taking up a hobby, study course or sport you've always wanted to try is a great way to rebuild your self-esteem after the end of a relationship, it also allows you to mix with new people, so you can make a fresh start.

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