I believe most people use a combination of words and actions to show their love. Disappointment sets in when one feels they are not getting loved (the way) they want or need to be loved. Sometimes we expect people to become something they are not. Instead of tring to get someone to "change" we would be better off finding someone who (already is) the kind of person we want.
It is important to remember that we (choose) our own friends, lovers, and spouse. There is no getting around that. If you go to the store to purchase an apple but buy an onion instead whose fault is that? Do you curse the onion for not being an apple? Ultimately we are responsible for our own happiness! Hopefully with experience we become better "shoppers" and make better choices for ourselves.
This philosophy is detailed in the book: My Cat Won't Bark! (A Relationship Epiphany). It doesn't tell you to "think like a man" however it does encourage you to do some (introspective thinking) in order to figure out what your (true desires) are and encourages you to approach relationships with complete awarness and self-empowerment. Below is a link with a description in case you're interested.