Do Women Stay With Men That Abuse Them Because They Have Low Self a Steam?

1. 58

   misslady142posted 14 years ago

   Do Women Stay With Men That Abuse Them Because They Have Low Self a Steam?
   
   i would like to know why do women stay with men that abuse them alot of the say because i love him or he love me.

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2. 64

   palmerlarryrayposted 14 years ago

   Yes, a lot of the problem can be attributed to low self esteem, the feeling of not being able to find anyone else or just plain fear.  I have seen this situation a lot and, usually, it continues because thw person being abused has just given up on themselves or is afraid to ask for help. 
   
   In regards to the "  I love him", "he loves me" stuff:
   That has always been a common thread in abusive relationships.  It is an emotional rollercoaster ride.  One minute you are getting the life choked out of you and the next you are hearing "I'm sorry. I love you. If you hadn't done this, I wouldn't have done that."  So the person being abused thinks it is their fault and tries to be better.  Crazy? Yes, but the human mind can form some strange opinions on what love is.

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3. 63

   Lisa HWposted 14 years ago

   Many stay out of fear for their lives.  Many stay because they fear losing custody of their children.
   
   While some women in abusive relationships have low self-esteem, it is now understood that men who become abusers are often attracted to strong, independent, women.  Some women, believing themselves to be understanding, will attribute abusive behavior to stress and overlook it for a while.  Men often apologize and say it will never happen again, and women (often not wanting to "throw away" their marriage prematurely, especially if children are involved) will be willing to forgive and believe it will not happen again.

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4. 60

   annb106posted 14 years ago

   The answer is yes and I say that from experience, but it is time for a change.

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5. 61

   Antionettebposted 14 years ago

   Either low self esteem or they're just really  blind..
   i hope this doesnt sound mean or crude but i think that those who choose to remain in this situation should consider some type of therapy. If (abuse) of any sort ..is considered LOVE...then i choose to never be in it..
   
   However, i dont know the situation but i hope they gather what they need to get themselves out of it..god forbid any children be involved..

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6. 59

   sheristeeleposted 14 years ago

   what occurs with these women is what is known as "the cycle" of abuse.  During the passion stage, everything seems wonderful and they are loved unlike they have ever been in their lives.  Abusers start the abuse slowly..  sometimes even years go by in between the abusive events. 
   
   The women think things like, "well, he is usually so loving, maybe I shouldn't have said what I did, or did what I did to make him that mad". 
   
   Abusive relationships also have what they call, "the honeymoon stage":  where the abuser arrives with flowers, gifts, and cries while saying "I'm sorry, I love you so much"  and usually states that he will never batter again.
   
   If the cycle of abuse is not broken, eventually, the abuse becomes a way of life.  The victim eventually finds it is easier to avoid the abuse if they do not cause arguments or anything that will be a trigger for more abuse.  They realize if they leave or try to walk out, the abuser will probably follow them.  That is when most violent relationships become deadly.  It then becomes a "survival" only phase of the victim's life. 
   
   People who have never been in a violent relationship can never understand the mind-frame of those who have.

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7. 59

   Azizi527posted 14 years ago

   Speaking from my own past experience, yes women do stay with men that abuse them because they are scared, they have low self-esteem and the verbal abuse is to much.  At some point, you start to feel less than, that you are not good, that you will not find another man or become independent if your not so alrdeady.  it is a vicious cycle, some women are even threatened if they even think about leaving him.

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