When my husband died, I might as well been dead myself, because that was how I felt... dead. I recently saw Diane Lane's movie "Under the Tuscan Sun" where her character said "Do you know the most surprising thing about divorce? It doesn't actually kill you. Like a bullet to the heart or a head-on car wreck. It should. When someone you've promised to cherish till death do you part says "I never loved you," it should kill you instantly. You shouldn't have to wake up day after day after that, trying to understand how in the world you didn't know." It hurts badly either way.
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Timetraveler2, I agree with your answer. Both are painful choices, and in my case, I ended up a widow. I'm sorry to hear that you had experience both. Thanks
Dear onegoodwoman, thank you for your answer. My life is also not a movie. I only mentioned the movie I quoted because the character was so devastated by her husband divorcing her, it touched me to the core. Best wishes
dashingscorpio, thanks for detailed answer to my question. Very informative. I will ask the question you suggested. Thanks
Veroniquebee, yes being a widow/widower or being a divorcee are both painful choices. You are right, not all divorces end with words "I never loved you." Some divorcees get remarried to each other.. better the second time around. Thanks
Thanks for answering my question, msorensson. I would prefer to die first too, but it didn't happen that way.
Many hugs, Rosie.
My father died young. My mother could have remarried. She did not.
I know she would have preferred to be with him, however at the time, my brothers were really young. She died peacefully after my youngest brother got married.