I have a great teacher who guides me with everything I need to know about life. And what I heard from him a good husband or wife should become a lover of God and should center their life in the service of God. If a person does not make any effort to know and love God, chances are that the marriage life will be full of misery, anger, and pain. Because no one is loving God or is at least making the effort to love God, they won't really care for the real well being of the each other. The couple will end up being selfish and bitter because they won't recognize that his/her partner is a child of God, loving servant of God whom I should take care of.
Aside from being a servant of God, my teacher also said that the couple should practice these 12 qualities/actions
-striving for perfection yourself, but don’t expect it from your spouse
-being slow to judge
-accepting responsibility for your own misery
As for the ladies, being submissive is always mentioned in the scriptures. It is said that women should always be ready to submit with their husband no matter how hard it is (this is true for a husband who is a lover of God. if the husband is cruel and keeps on battering the wife, the wife is not obliged to follow her evil husband.)