I have learned to appreciate and care for myself instead of waiting for others to do it. I do nice things for myself so I feel emotionally nourished. So when I do something kind for someone else, I can do it freely without expecting anything in return, even appreciation or a thank you. Of course, in a close relationship of any kind there should be mutual apprecation in order for the relationship to be maintained or to progress. That is another way of caring for oneself. In your close, intimate relationships, if there is not give and take, but only take, it is time to set some boundaries and expectations. If the person doesn't step up, the relationship can't progress. But again, this cannot be a quid pro quo, so that you are always keeping score. My initial statement still stands, to care for oneself and be generous with others, but when you feel taken for granted it really is time to take a closer look at what is going on.