Arranged marriage or love marriage

1. 58

   shivanchirakkal10posted 11 years ago

   Arranged marriage or love marriage
   
   I think arranged marriage is strong and long lasting than love marriage which most of the time find failure. Are agree?

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2. 64

   naeemebrahimjeeposted 11 years ago

   I disagree. Love marriage every time for me.

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      shivanchirakkal10posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      dear naeemebrahijee,
      Ok  you can stay on your opinion.
      Thanks for your answer.

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3. 79

   dashingscorpioposted 11 years ago

   Ultimately I don't think it matters as much (how) you meet as it does to (who) you meet. Being a citizen of the U.S. I am use to having "free choice" when it comes to selecting a mate. However if my parents had selected a woman who I fell head over hills in love with I would not be upset with them.
   Bottom line in my opinion what makes a happy marriage is two people who (naturally agree) most of the time, want the same things, share the same values, and have a strong phyiscal attraction/chemistry towards each other.

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   1. 58

      shivanchirakkal10posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      dashingscorpio,
      As  an US citizen your views are  correct. But, why divorce increasing.
      Thank you for your answer.

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   2. 79

      dashingscorpioposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      shivanchirakkal10, I think the number one resason for divorce is and has always been (selecting the wrong mate). Since we are human beings this could happen whether we select our mate or someone else does. Divorce is the result of a marital mistake.

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   3. 0

      Courtney Burkeposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I think divorce is increasing because it is allowed. I'm not talking about legally allowed, but rather entertained in our thoughts as an acceptable option. If you believe you cannot leave, then you will fight to overcome differences.

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4. 78

   Mom Katposted 11 years ago

   As a woman born & raised in the USA I find the idea of an arranged marriage to be offensive, barbaric, and demeaning to women. 
   I could never imagine living in a place where I am treated like property by my parents or by a man.  I value myself, my independence, and my freedom too much.
   
   You cannot put a barter or a price on a person nor their happiness. 
   
   When you marry for love it is because the man values and loves the woman for who she is just as the woman values and loves the man for who he is.  There is trust, respect, and honor. 
   
   The marriages that don't last are the ones that are forced or done for the wrong reasons.  At least in the USA.  Here a woman is free to leave a controlling or abusive relationship.  She is free to stand up for herself and demand equal treatment. 
   
   The very idea of being trapped in a life long commitment to someone who values only himself and what I can do for him makes me sick.  I am so thankful that I was born in a place that allows me the right to choose a partner who will value me for who I am & not just what I can offer by way of dowry or service to his needs.

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   1. 58

      shivanchirakkal10posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Mom Kat, I am  fully agree with you . Trust,respect, and honor are the building stone of a healthy marriage life irrespective of where you born & raised.
      thanks for your answer.

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5. 60

   duffsmomposted 11 years ago

   No, I don't agree.  I suppose in an arranged marriage a deep love can grow.  But I was happy to find my own mate.  We have been married 42 years. I don't think the problem with marriages ending is love - I think it is a failure to see the commitment as one that is lifelong. People give up too easily in certain cases.

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      shivanchirakkal10posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      your views are  correct. love and understanding, commitment are the best way to lead a happy married.
      duffsmom, thanks for your answer.

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6. 70

   Mr. Happyposted 11 years ago

   Mr. Shivanchirakkal,
   
   One can pull-out my fingernails and start chopping me to pieces and I would still not agree to someone else telling me that I have to marry a specific person.
   
   I am a Warrior and I have been practicing celibacy and abstinence for over a decade now - how can I be okay to someone forcing marriage on myself?
   
   My opinion is that everyone should be allowed to make such life-defining choices on their own. Each one of us has our own path to follow. What is good for me may not be necessarily good for You and vice-verse. Marriage is a personal choice, as I see it.
   
   The divorce rate is as high as it is because most of us have lost our moral ground. People often marry because of financial security, or out of excitement - thinking it's a fun thing to do ... not all marriages are based on pure Love and when that happens, they are bound to fail. If we Love our partner as we Love God, all would be good! : )
   
   Just my thoughts/opinion.
   
   All the best!

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   1. 58

      shivanchirakkal10posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      nice answer. I think marriage is nothing if couples couldn't love each other.
      Thank you  Mr. happy.

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7. 59

   sen.sush23posted 11 years ago

   I wanted to understand the difference in the psyche of the US and Indian male or female with reference to issues on relationship. This forum discussion which had only one Indian participant, that is you, who raised the question, at least make it clear that there is still a wide difference between us. While we. the Indians are still open to debate the possibilities of an arranged marriage, the Americans cannot even understand how that is even an option. This is very natural, given the difference in our culture. Thank you for raising this question at the forum.

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      shivanchirakkal10posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Yes, there are different type of believes and culture between people in different  countries. Most developed countries like US have much freedom to people. But countries like India social bindings are more strict  regarding marriage.

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