I was in an 8 year verbally and emotionally abusive relationship with a man who was the father of 3 of my 5 (at the time) children.
I wanted to get couples therapy or figure out some way to make it work. He refused.
I saw what it was doing to the children.
I didn't want them thinking this was the way it was supposed to be.
I wanted my sons to respect their women & my daughters to respect themselves & find men who would treat them right.
I ended that relationship. He didn't want me to, but I did it anyway. Tough noogies for him; he should have treated me better before I tossed his hinder out on the street.
So I guess what you have to ask yourself is this : is this the kind of relationship you want your children to grow up and have? Is this the "normal" you want them to get imprinted in their minds? ~ if not, leave! kick him out, end it, whatever you have to do. The safety of the children - including their mental stability - are at risk in a situation like this. If you aren't strong enough to take a stand for yourself, do it for them. They deserve to know what real love, trust, honor, and respect look like.