It led me to do some serious introspective thinking. I reached the conclusion that each of us (chooses) our own friends, lovers, and spouse. There is no way of getting around that one. If I go to the grocery store to purchase an apple but buy an onion instead... Whose fault is that? Do I curse the onion for not being an apple? No! I need to learn to become a better "shopper"!
The more I develed into my past relationships a list of concepts came to me or should I say I began to see things in a different way. One example is there is no such thing as "right" and "wrong" in relationships. There is only "agree" and "disagree". Someone who is "wrong" for you may be "right" for someone else. Ultimately what each of us is looking for is someone who (naturally agrees) with us on the major things in life.
This gets back to knowing (yourself) well enough to know what it is you want and need in a mate. The next requirement is to have the discipline to stick to your (own) "shopping list". You are responsible for your own happiness! I ended up writting a book.
My Cat Won't Bark! (A Relationship Epiphany)