How do you let go of a great friend for your spouse?
Spouse is jealous of the friendship I have with someone of the opposite sex and suspects the friend would like to be more than friends but the friend has never made an indication of that being the case.
I grew up with a guy my whole childhood. I love him like my brother. However my first husband was the type of guy that didn't think it was possible for a guy to be so close to a woman and not have feelings for her. I gave up my friend for him and have regretted it since. I am married to a better man now who wouldn't mind our friendship. Unfortunately now it is the other way around and my friends wife is the jealous one who doesn't want him to be friends with me. I wonder if it would have been the same if I had not been absent from his life for so long.
Get your spouse to get over it if you have given him no reason to not trust you. Communicate and don't give up any friends for your spouse. If he truly loves you he will let you maintain your friendships and trust you to know when to set boundaries.
Honesty is the best policy. However you do want to be clear that the ultimate decision was (yours) to make. Ultimately people do what they feel is in (their) best interest. A good or great friend will understand that you doing what you feel is best for (your) marriage.
People often ask can men and women be friends. There is usually a debate about one person wanting a relationship with the other. However I have always pointed out that even if the two people involved are strictly platonic friends like (brother and sister) there is always a chance that their spouses or significant other are not accepting of the “friendship”. This is another reason why the (men and women as friends) often does not last for eternity.
Given the choice of building a life with someone you are “in love” with or maintaining a friendship…. Most people will choose romantic love over platonic friendship. There are others who would insist that you force your spouse to accept your friendship. After all you may have known your friend before you met your spouse. The truth is there is no “right” or “wrong”. There is only “agree” or “disagree” You can't make someone like something they don't like nor can you expect to accept things they don't want to accept.
Both of you are (entitled) to have your own “deal breakers”. However if something means less to you than it does to your spouse why go to war or possibly risk them deciding to move on.
We may choose our actions but we cannot choose the consequences of our actions.
You need to have a conversation with your spouse. My ex moved back into town and we started talking. My husband showed a few signs about not being happy about it. But he didn't say anything. We started talking and after he better understood my relationship with my ex, he is perfectly fine with my ex and I talking.
During high school, I dated a guy who caused me to lose all of my friends except for his. It's one of the reasons why I do not push away my husbands friends from him and he does the same to me. If he wants his friends, he can keep them. But he cannot have sexual relations with one of them and he must only have them at the house once a week. I like my space.
by Marcy Goodfleisch 7 years ago
Have you ever ended a friendship? If so, why?What issues made you want to end the relationship?
by megan1001 12 years ago
Boyfriends best friend is a girl....I hate herMy boyfriends best friend is a girl. They are having dinner near her house( bout 40 min away). He's going to her house (lives with parents) because they redid their basement and she wants to show him the new bar. Then they are going to dinner and...
by thisiknow 7 years ago
What would you do if your friend flirted with your spouse?While on vacation with a few other couples, I watched in disbelief as one friend blatantly flirted with another friends husband. I could not understand why his wife said nothing. Being good friends with the wife I finally got up the nerve to...
by Johnathan David 2 years ago
What's the difference between a friend, a true friend and a best friend?I just want your viewpoints on the certain stages of friendship and what they mean to you..
by Chelsea Carter-Kern 11 years ago
Is being in a "friends with benefits" relationship a good idea?One of my best friends is (just recently) in this kind of situation with one of her guy friends. It is none of my business what she does or doesn't do, but I just wanted to get a general idea of how common this is, and is it...
by Marcy Goodfleisch 8 years ago
Have you ever had to end a friendship? Why? And how did you do it?Sometimes things change, even between BFFs. Have you ever 'broke it off' with a good friend. Not someone you dated, but a friend?Why did you decide to move on? And how did you make your exit?
Copyright © 2024 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. HubPages® is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website.
Copyright © 2024 Maven Media Brands, LLC and respective owners.
As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.
For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://corp.maven.io/privacy-policy
Show DetailsNecessary | |
---|---|
HubPages Device ID | This is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons. |
Login | This is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service. |
Google Recaptcha | This is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy) |
Akismet | This is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy) |
HubPages Google Analytics | This is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy) |
HubPages Traffic Pixel | This is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized. |
Amazon Web Services | This is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy) |
Cloudflare | This is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy) |
Google Hosted Libraries | Javascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy) |
Features | |
---|---|
Google Custom Search | This is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy) |
Google Maps | Some articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy) |
Google Charts | This is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy) |
Google AdSense Host API | This service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy) |
Google YouTube | Some articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy) |
Vimeo | Some articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy) |
Paypal | This is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy) |
Facebook Login | You can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy) |
Maven | This supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy) |
Marketing | |
---|---|
Google AdSense | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Google DoubleClick | Google provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Index Exchange | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Sovrn | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Facebook Ads | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Amazon Unified Ad Marketplace | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
AppNexus | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Openx | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Rubicon Project | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
TripleLift | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Say Media | We partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy) |
Remarketing Pixels | We may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites. |
Conversion Tracking Pixels | We may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service. |
Statistics | |
---|---|
Author Google Analytics | This is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy) |
Comscore | ComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy) |
Amazon Tracking Pixel | Some articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy) |
Clicksco | This is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy) |