I suspect this (need) for “closure” is probably more common among women than men.
Each of us chooses our own friends, lovers, and spouse. Therefore the (real) closure in my opinion is when the individual looks back to determine why they chose their ex to begin with as well as examine the clues, signs, or red flags they chose to ignore. You can only control (your) choices or decisions. You learn from (your) mistakes not (their) mistakes.
This need to find out (why) something happened from another person’s point of view rarely leads to a satisfactory conclusion. Most (why) questions tend to be rhetorical in nature and tend to lead to unsatisfactory resolutions because….
"There is nothing your ex can say to you that will make you feel better about having your heart broken."
Not long ago I had a discussion with a 30 year old woman who told me she had been emotionally “stuck” until she was able to finally talk to her ex who had moved out of town. The sad thing is this past relationship that she had allowed to hold herself back ended when she was a (15) year old girl!
This reminded me of an incident that occurred at my Jr. High school. A 13 year old girl attempted suicide because her 14 year old boyfriend broke up with her in order to date the (new) girl at the school. I suppose most teenagers will never have the maturity to realize there are very few “life and death” decisions to make so early in a lifespan which may consist of 80 years! How does a 13 year old hold a 14 year old responsible their life? How does a 30 year old hold someone who was 15 at the time responsible for their relationships issues? Expecting someone on the “outside” of yourself to (fix) you or make you whole again is not realistic. The most important step after a breakup is (accepting) it’s over! (Move on). One man's opinion! :-) https://hubpages.com/relationships/breakupsandclos...