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Whoa.. I don't know who is crazier, the woman for behaving that way or your ex for staying with her.
WHOA, is right, Zaiden! Ditto to your comment. Christin honey, I feel for you & your son. THIS is commonly referred to, in the MH field as plain old "cuckoo!" You are 100% correct about the RED FLAG!
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I agree on the kids - my kids only have internet access in my presence for example - the can't access it from their bedroom etc. I think that's less like snooping though and more about protecting the young and potentially naive :).