RealityTalk profile image 60

Why do so many marriages end in divorce


I am curious to hear from those who have gone through a divorce themselves. Why did you divorce your spouse? Why did your spouse divorce you? Do you even know? If the desire for divorce was one-sided, do you as the divorced spouse believe the divorcing spouse was honest in their reasons for wanting divorce?

 

sort by best latest

Billie Kelpin profile image87

Billie Kelpin says

You can help the HubPages community highlight top quality content by ranking this answer up or down.

4 years ago
 |  Comment
  • RealityTalk profile image

    RealityTalk 4 years ago

    Billie, I cannot wait to read your Hub. For me, my current marriage of 20 yrs. has worked because it started as a friendship. It wasn't sexual attraction. It was common interests leading to common concern, compassion, feelings & love.


  • See all 3 comments
fpherj48 profile image74

Paula (fpherj48) says

You can help the HubPages community highlight top quality content by ranking this answer up or down.

4 years ago
 |  Comment
Sherry Hewins profile image98

Sherry Hewins says

You can help the HubPages community highlight top quality content by ranking this answer up or down.

4 years ago
 |  Comment
  • Billie Kelpin profile image

    Billie Kelpin 4 years ago

    Sherry, brilliant! I DO think we it's a remarkable illustration of humankind's ability to adapt when people who are living longer and longer stay in loving, nurturing relationships.

Joshua Scott profile image79

Joshua Dalrymple (Joshua Scott) says

You can help the HubPages community highlight top quality content by ranking this answer up or down.

4 years ago
 |  Comment
  • Wakerra profile image

    Wakerra 4 years ago

    The Family: A Proclamation to the World!

myefforts profile image83

Asif (myefforts) says

You can help the HubPages community highlight top quality content by ranking this answer up or down.

4 years ago
 |  Comment
BuffaloGal1960 profile image75

T. Clifton (BuffaloGal1960) says

You can help the HubPages community highlight top quality content by ranking this answer up or down.

4 years ago
 |  Comment
  • RealityTalk profile image

    RealityTalk 4 years ago

    You made some very valid comments. I cannot disagree. Marriage should not be entered into unless the couple "know each other." Really know each other. Marriage is not just sex & fun. It is friendship, concern for the other & so much more.

Medical-Reference profile image85

Imtiaz Ibne Alam (Medical-Reference) says

You can help the HubPages community highlight top quality content by ranking this answer up or down.

4 years ago
 |  Comment
  • RealityTalk profile image

    RealityTalk 4 years ago

    I agree about family. It seems couples r too quick to marry & divorce. Many divorcees that I know seem to be selfish individuals who need to be in charge of their relationships & family. Family & relationships r about sharing, not cont


  • See all 2 comments
hubmuffins profile image71

Siddharth (hubmuffins) says

You can help the HubPages community highlight top quality content by ranking this answer up or down.

4 years ago
 |  Comment
  • Say Yes To Life profile image

    Yoleen Lucas (Say Yes To Life) 4 years ago

    I once met an 18 year old college freshman woman from India. At the end of the year, she was going to marry a stranger her parents had chosen for her. She wasn't resentful; "Americans marry for love and get divorced, so love isn't everything, is it?"


  • See all 2 comments
ocfireflies profile image80

ocfireflies says

You can help the HubPages community highlight top quality content by ranking this answer up or down.

4 years ago
 |  Comment
  • RealityTalk profile image

    RealityTalk 4 years ago

    I agree that communication is key to any relationship!

Diana Lee profile image85

Diana L Pierce (Diana Lee) says

You can help the HubPages community highlight top quality content by ranking this answer up or down.

4 years ago
 |  Comment
LeslieOutlaw profile image78

Leslie (LeslieOutlaw) says

You can help the HubPages community highlight top quality content by ranking this answer up or down.

4 years ago
 |  Comment
Elani-Lee profile image84

Elani-Lee says

You can help the HubPages community highlight top quality content by ranking this answer up or down.

4 years ago
 |  Comment
DrRebeccaSanders profile image82

Dr. Rebecca Sanders (DrRebeccaSanders) says

You can help the HubPages community highlight top quality content by ranking this answer up or down.

4 years ago
 |  Comment
  • RealityTalk profile image

    RealityTalk 4 years ago

    I am glad for you that you are happy now. It sounds like you gave it your all; he did not. Not only communication, but growing together & accepting change in each other is a core attribute of marriage. I wish you well. Thanks for commenting.

Say Yes To Life profile image82

Yoleen Lucas (Say Yes To Life) says

You can help the HubPages community highlight top quality content by ranking this answer up or down.

4 years ago
 |  Comment
  • RealityTalk profile image

    RealityTalk 4 years ago

    Say Yes To Life, interesting statistics. Maybe someday u will marry. I don't think marriage is 4 everyone thou. I like being married. I think marriage should be like a friendship. Friends seem to last 4-ever. Sexual attraction dies quickly.

Miss Crayola profile image79

Miss Crayola says

You can help the HubPages community highlight top quality content by ranking this answer up or down.

4 years ago
 |  Comment
  • RealityTalk profile image

    RealityTalk 4 years ago

    Your comment brings a thought to mind. Friendships can last forever, but many marriages end in dislike of each other. Why? Should not our spouse be our best friend & as u say, even if divorced, the friendship should continue..

dashingscorpio profile image88

dashingscorpio says

You can help the HubPages community highlight top quality content by ranking this answer up or down.

4 years ago
 |  Comment
  • dashingscorpio profile image

    dashingscorpio 4 years ago

    My first marriage ended in divorce because I definitely chose the "wrong mate" and I got married for the wrong reasons. I was 32 and I thought: "Why not?" Lesson learned! If you (really) don't want to get married than don't. Divorce isn't easy!


  • See all 3 comments
suzettenaples profile image90

Suzette Walker (suzettenaples) says

You can help the HubPages community highlight top quality content by ranking this answer up or down.

4 years ago
 |  Comment
  • dashingscorpio profile image

    dashingscorpio 4 years ago

    Sounds like you married the (wrong) man. No amount of communication or work can overcome being with someone who does not want what you do. Divorce is the result of choosing the wrong mate most of the time. We all make mistakes including love/dating.


  • See all 2 comments
Alan Grace profile image76

Alan Grace says

You can help the HubPages community highlight top quality content by ranking this answer up or down.

2 months ago
 |  Comment
KatyWhoWaited profile image60

KatyWhoWaited says

You can help the HubPages community highlight top quality content by ranking this answer up or down.

4 years ago
 |  Comment
  • RealityTalk profile image

    RealityTalk 4 years ago

    I'm 56 & look at dating as not for me. I'm happily married still. I wrote Question, because as u said, answers aren't always there or obvious. My same-age friend married 4 35 yrs. is seeking divorce now. I don't think he knows why.


  • See all 2 comments
Laura in Denver profile image79

Laura Deibel (Laura in Denver) says

You can help the HubPages community highlight top quality content by ranking this answer up or down.

4 years ago
 |  Comment
dianetrotter profile image71

G. Diane Nelson Trotter (dianetrotter) says

You can help the HubPages community highlight top quality content by ranking this answer up or down.

4 years ago
 |  Comment
Wakerra profile image77

Wakerra says

You can help the HubPages community highlight top quality content by ranking this answer up or down.

4 years ago
 |  Comment
mandyf profile image68

mandyf says

You can help the HubPages community highlight top quality content by ranking this answer up or down.

4 years ago
 |  Comment
  • RealityTalk profile image

    RealityTalk 4 years ago

    Valid comment! If I can add to that. I find "not giving in" and always wanting to be right & have one's own way is behind the "blame" game. Couples need to be flexible and sometimes give in even if they feel they r right & even if they r r

padmendra profile image43

PADMENDRA S R (padmendra) says

You can help the HubPages community highlight top quality content by ranking this answer up or down.

4 years ago
 |  Comment
  • RealityTalk profile image

    RealityTalk 4 years ago

    A very astute comment. Life is different now. Gone the days when couples "needed" each other to survive physically or culturally. Thus a different mindset is needed for today's couples than for those of years gone bye.

divineadriano profile image65

Divine Grace Adriano (divineadriano) says

You can help the HubPages community highlight top quality content by ranking this answer up or down.

4 years ago
 |  Comment
profile image79

barrierbreaker says

You can help the HubPages community highlight top quality content by ranking this answer up or down.

4 years ago
 |  Comment
  • dashingscorpio profile image

    dashingscorpio 4 years ago

    You might add: People (choose) the WRONG mate to marry.

    People get married for the WRONG reasons.

    Unhappily married people don't stay together as much as they use to! :-)

Charlu profile image78

Charlu says

You can help the HubPages community highlight top quality content by ranking this answer up or down.

4 years ago
 |  Comment
  • RealityTalk profile image

    RealityTalk 4 years ago

    Very nice ending paragraph! For me & my 20+ years of marriage (my 2nd marriage), unlike my 1st marriage, I have always accepted my wife for who she is. I never expected, nor do I ever expect her to be anyone but who she is.

gpishev profile image60

Georgi P. (gpishev) says

You can help the HubPages community highlight top quality content by ranking this answer up or down.

4 years ago
 |  Comment
  • RealityTalk profile image

    RealityTalk 4 years ago

    The effect on kids is what disturbs me most about divorce. Split households ... step parents ... mom here ... dad there ... authority/discipline suffers due to the aforementioned. Parents think more of themselves than their kids. Think!

Raitu Disong profile image60

Raitu Disong says

You can help the HubPages community highlight top quality content by ranking this answer up or down.

4 years ago
 |  Comment
ozturk profile image60

An Nazmus Saqib (ozturk) says

You can help the HubPages community highlight top quality content by ranking this answer up or down.

4 years ago
 |  Comment
Koyna Sen profile image60

Koyna Sen says

You can help the HubPages community highlight top quality content by ranking this answer up or down.

4 years ago
 |  Comment
  • RealityTalk profile image

    RealityTalk 4 years ago

    Well put. It does appear that few are willing to bend for their partners. It once was about two being one. It now seems for many to be one and one will always be two.

profile image55

ima bemedou says

You can help the HubPages community highlight top quality content by ranking this answer up or down.

3 years ago
 |  Comment
BobMonger profile image60

BobMonger says

You can help the HubPages community highlight top quality content by ranking this answer up or down.

3 years ago
 |  Comment
DATALOAD profile image60

DATALOAD says

You can help the HubPages community highlight top quality content by ranking this answer up or down.

4 years ago
 |  Comment
Coolh profile image60

Coolh Singh (Coolh) says

You can help the HubPages community highlight top quality content by ranking this answer up or down.

4 years ago
 |  Comment
  • RealityTalk profile image

    RealityTalk 4 years ago

    A valid pt. Many couples marry for the romance +/or custom of marriage & not 4 the purpose of living out their lifetime with someone else. None of us are perfect & we all change physically & mentally over time.

winjoy profile image61

Mike (winjoy) says

You can help the HubPages community highlight top quality content by ranking this answer up or down.

4 years ago
 |  Comment
whatonmelodysmind profile image61

Melody (whatonmelodysmind) says

You can help the HubPages community highlight top quality content by ranking this answer up or down.

4 years ago
 |  Comment
profile image51

geneyology says

You can help the HubPages community highlight top quality content by ranking this answer up or down.

4 years ago
 |  Comment
profile image53

AdamSandison says

You can help the HubPages community highlight top quality content by ranking this answer up or down.

4 years ago
 |  Comment
Divorces Ending Marriages70

Divorces Ending Marriages

You can help the HubPages community highlight top quality content by ranking this answer up or down.

4 years ago
 |  Comment
endenfin profile image66

Lizzie Edenfield (endenfin) says

You can help the HubPages community highlight top quality content by ranking this answer up or down.

4 years ago
 |  Comment
profile image49

HERMAN COLLIER says

You can help the HubPages community highlight top quality content by ranking this answer up or down.

4 years ago
 |  Comment
  • RealityTalk profile image

    RealityTalk 4 years ago

    I agree with what you say about trust and respect. Well said.

Louise C profile image61

Louise (Louise C) says

You can help the HubPages community highlight top quality content by ranking this answer up or down.

16 months ago
 |  Comment
profile image0

Michelle Widmann says

You can help the HubPages community highlight top quality content by ranking this answer up or down.

4 years ago
 |  Comment
  • RealityTalk profile image

    RealityTalk 4 years ago

    I think those are wise words. It works right if it starts right.

anujab profile image60

Anuja Bogolu (anujab) says

You can help the HubPages community highlight top quality content by ranking this answer up or down.

4 years ago
 |  Comment
  • RealityTalk profile image

    RealityTalk 4 years ago

    Very wise words! It is not a perfect world & relationships are not perfect. It is up to each of us to make our relationships work. Look for what is good in the other and don't pick on the little faults we all have.

writingmom profile image60

Tracy (writingmom) says

You can help the HubPages community highlight top quality content by ranking this answer up or down.

2 years ago
 |  Comment
profile image54

hermsreviews says

You can help the HubPages community highlight top quality content by ranking this answer up or down.

4 years ago
 |  Comment
Sherrylynn11 profile image60

Sharon Soto (Sherrylynn11) says

You can help the HubPages community highlight top quality content by ranking this answer up or down.

4 years ago
 |  Comment
  • RealityTalk profile image

    RealityTalk 4 years ago

    Lack of communication seems to be the number 1 answer. I agree with the lack of respect for each others' feelings too. Marriage is great, but it requires effort and understanding and respect. You hit the nail on the head.

profile image0

Justsilvie says

You can help the HubPages community highlight top quality content by ranking this answer up or down.

4 years ago
 |  Comment
  • RealityTalk profile image

    RealityTalk 4 years ago

    I agree "communication" is the most important aspect of marriage. My 1st wife would not communicate. If mad, she could stay silent for a week. No communication leads to no marriage.

profile image0

Deborah Sexton says

You can help the HubPages community highlight top quality content by ranking this answer up or down.

4 years ago
 |  Comment
  • Billie Kelpin profile image

    Billie Kelpin 4 years ago

    Your definition of intimacy is EXTREMELY important (i.e. the ability to 'reveal yourself to someone you feel you can trust'.) I would add that if a person feels he or she can't reveal himself or herself, it's ESSENTIAL to express that to the spouse.


  • See all 3 comments
receivetipstricks profile image82

Mrinal Saha (receivetipstricks) says

You can help the HubPages community highlight top quality content by ranking this answer up or down.

4 years ago
 |  Comment
  • RealityTalk profile image

    RealityTalk 4 years ago

    Thanks for your comment. A good friend of mine of 10 years was born in India. He moved here at age 18 and still lives here. His father tried to arrange a marriage for him. My friend did not follow through. I think he should have.


  • See all 4 comments
DDE profile image25

Devika Primić (DDE) says

You can help the HubPages community highlight top quality content by ranking this answer up or down.

4 years ago
 |  Comment
  • dashingscorpio profile image

    dashingscorpio 4 years ago

    Also sometimes human beings make mistakes! They choose the wrong partner or they get married for the wrong reasons. Choosing the "right" mate is not an exact science. A divorce is nothing more than a public admission that a "mistake" was made.

Ann810 profile image80

Ann810 says

You can help the HubPages community highlight top quality content by ranking this answer up or down.

4 years ago
 |  Comment
  • Billie Kelpin profile image

    Billie Kelpin 4 years ago

    Wow! I really don't think my former husband and I during our marriage had a "sin problem". We endeavored to be righteous people-marched for social justice issues; my husband chose biomedical engineering instead of making bombs and on and on.

profile image0

JThomp42 says

You can help the HubPages community highlight top quality content by ranking this answer up or down.

4 years ago
 |  Comment
  • dashingscorpio profile image

    dashingscorpio 4 years ago

    JThomp42, Sounds like your ex-wife was one of the 66% of women who filed for the divorce. After I read an article I asked my divorced friends who (filed) for the divorce and I have yet to come across one man who initiated the filing in my group.


  • See all 5 comments
profile image0

Deepes Mind says

You can help the HubPages community highlight top quality content by ranking this answer up or down.

4 years ago
 |  Comment
AMAZING THINKER profile image59

AMAZING THINKER says

You can help the HubPages community highlight top quality content by ranking this answer up or down.

4 years ago
 |  Comment
  • dashingscorpio profile image

    dashingscorpio 4 years ago

    Not everyone (chooses) the "right mate" for themselves or gets married for the "right reasons". It's very possible that people make (mistakes) when selecting life partners. No one questions the possibility of making mistakes in other areas of life.


  • See all 3 comments
Lady Guinevere profile image60

Debra Allen (Lady Guinevere) says

You can help the HubPages community highlight top quality content by ranking this answer up or down.

4 years ago
 |  Comment
  • RealityTalk profile image

    RealityTalk 4 years ago

    I hope life is better for you now. And I hope you still have a relationship with your kids. I wish you all the best


  • See all 4 comments
Bintu Stjean profile image60

Bintu St Jean (Bintu Stjean) says

You can help the HubPages community highlight top quality content by ranking this answer up or down.

4 years ago
 |  Comment
  • RealityTalk profile image

    RealityTalk 4 years ago

    I have to disagree. Jesus, if he existed, was a man, not a god. My marriage will only work if my wife & I make it work. A make-believe god has nothing to do with our success. Faith in make believe is a recipe for disaster.


  • See all 5 comments
THADDEUS1 profile image58

THADDEUS1 says

You can help the HubPages community highlight top quality content by ranking this answer up or down.

4 years ago
 |  Comment
  • RealityTalk profile image

    RealityTalk 4 years ago

    I'm guessing you are right concerning many relationships. If no one is honest from the start, the marriage is headed for disaster.


  • See all 4 comments
djdaniel150 profile image61

Daniel (djdaniel150) says

You can help the HubPages community highlight top quality content by ranking this answer up or down.

4 years ago
 |  Comment
  • RealityTalk profile image

    RealityTalk 4 years ago

    I disagree, but I understand. I married my current/2nd wife because it was her 1st & it meant a lot 2 her; I could have just lived w/her. Marriage is more than paper; it says, I commit; I won't leave. Living 2gether says I may leave tomorrow.


  • See all 3 comments