It would not enter my mind to punish a lover. I have relationships with adults. I would ran fast if something had to punish me.
Direct communication is what people do who are mature. Passive aggressive behaviors are not a healthy means to a good relationship.Punishing someone is not healthy either, unless you are into playing games.
Also knowing, you are not entitled to change anyone, but yourself, helps a lot. If a person is not giving you want you want, then reassess the situation. People who tend to want to punish another, have this desire to control other people. You have no right to control another adult, especially a lover.
Set boundaries for youself, if they dont honor them, out they go. Simple as that. No need to punish or prove your point.