Billie Kelpin profile image 88

What are strategies women can use to tell men their advances are making them uncomfortable?


Recently AGAIN in the news are sexual harassment issues that all women understand. One of the women coming forward regarding the San Diego mayor's "outed" behavior talks about not wanting to be alone in a room with him. Many of us have experienced men waiting until no one can see to make advances. No matter how small, it creates a very uncomfortable environment. It's difficult to tell someone in power, or an otherwise beloved family member that his actions are making you uncomfortable and you want him to stop. How do we muster up the courage to do that? What has been successful for you?

 

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Rosana Modugno profile image85

Best Answer Rosana Modugno says

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4 years ago
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    Billie Kelpin 4 years ago

    Rosana, I took my daughter years ago to a workshop on "touch" and they stated the important fact that you stated. If it doesn't feel right to you, that's all that matters. I think non-assertive women need practice in being assertive. It's a skill!

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Yves (savvydating) says

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4 years ago
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    Billie Kelpin 4 years ago

    SD, excellent advise. I think this will be helpful to those experiencing this situation. Any advise when subtleties occur within the family network? Not overt actions-just those make one uncomfortable. I know this happens as well.


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marwan asmar profile image75

Marwan Asmar says

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4 years ago
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    Billie Kelpin 4 years ago

    Marwan Asmar, :) Easier said than done, I think. I DO think ur right that a direct response is best. It gets tricky for women of my generation who were raised to be non-assertive. We don't want to risk insulting the person, so we suffer in silence.

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somethgblue says

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4 years ago
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    Billie Kelpin 4 years ago

    love it!


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dashingscorpio profile image88

dashingscorpio says

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4 years ago
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    Billie Kelpin 4 years ago

    true - I DO try to smile when I'm being assertive. Thanks Dashing.

MG Singh profile image77

MG Singh says

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4 years ago
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    Billie Kelpin 4 years ago

    MG Singh, ah, the direct approach. Sounds useful. more difficult if this is a family member. That gets very touchy. Some times older men do little things that others might think are cute, yet it makes all the women want to avoid the unavoidable

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Paula (fpherj48) says

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4 years ago
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    Nellieanna Hay (Nellieanna) 4 years ago

    This is so close to what I'd answer, I needn't do so! Good work. If a man is imposing himself on a woman, diplomacy is not needed to let him know it's unwelcome.


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Cheri Barrett profile image60

Cheri Barrett says

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4 years ago
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    Billie Kelpin 4 years ago

    Sometimes I wish I could be brave enough, when this is done in a room no one can witness, to put my other arm around HIS waist and walk out into the open saying something overtly funny. Calling him at his own game.But Direct n firm is the way to go

RealityTalk profile image61

RealityTalk says

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4 years ago
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    Billie Kelpin 4 years ago

    ah, RT, this is totally different. The kind of situation I'm talking about is when a woman is in a room alone w/ a man and he (let's say) starts holding hands or puts his arm around her waist. He does this when he's sure no one else is in the room


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P. Thorpe Christiansen (duffsmom) says

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4 years ago
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    Billie Kelpin 4 years ago

    Duffsmom... I like that phrase. "What you are doing is making me very uncomfortable." Now for the courage to say it. I simply waited until the person died. ugh! That's a long time to wait!