Most people (initially) date or go out with people they are physically attracted to. From a male point of view the majority of men are not going to ask a woman to go out if they feel she is ugly or unattractive. That is a reality and to be expected. Everyone has their "type".
Suppose one were going to the grocery store to purchase a can of beans and when they got there only 3 cans were on the shelf; (one has a dented side, the other has a label partially torn off, and the third one looks brand new), odds are the "content quality" is the same in all three cans! However most people would (choose) the one without any physical flaws! A person's mind along with everything else are things we discover after they caught "our eye".
Just recently I asked the question:
Is there a real difference between being "shallow" and having "preferences"?
Clearly it's all in the eye of the beholder. If a man won't go out with women who he sees as being overweight, a woman who won't date men who are a few inches shorter than her, someone who won't date a smoker, or social drinker (regardless) of how smart they are, great sense of humor they may have....etc Does it make them shallow? If someone refuses to date outside of their race...Does that make them racist? The answer to all of these questions is NO!
Each and everyone of us is entitled to have our own "shopping list" or preferences when it comes to traits (we want) in a mate. If someone calls you "shallow" they're attempting to "shame you" into changing "your list" to be more like "their list". Life is a personal journey!