The only person you can control is yourself. Therefore if someone does not want to do something you can't make them do it.
There is no amount of "communication" or "work" that can overcome being with someone who does not want what you want.
Essentially there are only two reasons why someone you're in a relationship with would not do what you have asked for and stressed it's importance.
1. They don't have it to give. ( In other words it's not who they are)
2. They don't believe you are worth the effort. (That one stings a bit)
If someone believes you are worth the effort they will make the effort. The truth is when people are "in love" they want their mates to be happy and the only reason they won't do something is because they don't have it to give.
Either way if it were me and my mate refused to go to counseling I would go on my own. I believe it's important to examine the choices one has made especially when it comes to mate selection.
Generally speaking if we want our mate to "change" there is a good chance we've chosen the wrong partner for ourselves. Very people walk around saying: "I'm looking for someone to change me!"
We're better off finding someone who (already is) the kind of person we want to be with.
There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in relationships: we either get what we want or we learn to be happy with what we have. Best of luck!