Each of us (chooses) our own friends, lovers, and spouse. Your statement: "I had been making the wrong choices..." essentially says it all. People who insist on playing the victim role will never be (empowered) until they acknowledge that they (chose) their mate. The beautiful thing about acknowledging this fact is knowing you have the power to learn from mistakes and make better choices for yourself in the future! I'm glad your new man helped you realize this.
If you go to the store to purchase an apple but buy an onion instead whose fault is that? Do you curse the onion for not being an apple? No! You learn to become a better shopper!
Life is a personal journey. You are responsible for your own happiness. You get to choose who you spend your time with. If someone is unhappy in a relationship and they choose to stay then (they) are (choosing) to be unhappy. It's not the job of the "victim" to fix the abuser or try to understand him or her!
It's your life. Take the wheel!
In order to break a pattern of choosing abusive partners one has to work on them self. Most people would rather attempt to change the world than to change themselves!
You have to do the introspective thinking to figure out why you chose this person, why you ignored the red flags, why you did not leave the first time you were mistreated. Get therapy. It's not your fault that you were abused. However it is your fault if you stay!
The beautiful thing about a door is it lets those who want in (in) and those who want out (out). No one is "stuck" with anyone. We are always where we (choose) to be. If someone is unhappy in a relationship and they choose to stay then (they) are (choosing) to be unhappy. You are responsible for loving yourself.
There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in relationships: we either get what we want or we learn to be happy with what we have. I talk about this a great deal in my book. My Cat Won't Bark! (A Relationship Epiphany) http://www.amazon.com/Cat-Wont-Bark-Relationship-E...