gm....If you will forgive me a moment.....The way in which you ask this question, negates possible answers from men and women who do NOT feel these ways in terms of "light and dark" within a m/f relationship.
If you could try to re-read it, objectively...as your readers will do....Can you see what I am referring to?
It seems you would like personal, individual answers to this question. Surely very few of us would be presumptuous enough to answer such a question for someone else ( in terms of how others feel)
I would be able to answer this with my own thoughts on this topic, except for the fact that I personally, do NOT feel more comfortable, relaxed & secure with the light...and uneasy, threatened or fearful with the dark.
So you see, your readers must logically assume you are focusing on men and women who DO feel the ways you have described. This severely limits the number of individuals who will answer and the variety in which they might respond.
In an attempt to provide you some form of an answer, I can say this: In my experiences with relationships, it is the man's personality, behavior, virtues, vices and sense of self that guides my abilities to feel either the positive or the negative physical, psychological and psychic vibes & attractions.......not by any means, the lightness or the darkness.
I hope you can accept my answer as it is. Or..perhaps I totally misunderstand your question? Thanks and Peace, Paula