It isn't always low self-esteem that causes a person to turn off others upon first meeting them. I KNOW that I do. I can't figure out why. I'm not a "small talk" person and that might be an issue. Exp: On a walk this morning I met a woman I had talked to briefly before and introduced her to another woman I was with (a casual acquaintance). They started talking about New York and somehow I could see that I had said something that turned everyone off. This happens a lot. I try not to be negative and say only positive things. I know it's SOMETHING; I just don't know what it is.
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That's been a problem of mine. I guess I said something like, "I had never wanted to go to New York, but then my daughter went to school there and I grew to love it. I mentioned an essay I wrote about it. I guess I do try for credibility.
You sound as if you have a very "cute" personality, Lisa. The casual thing gets me. The people I really, really am close to, accept who I am. I have other friends with whom I have to pretend I'm always happy, etc, but I do like them and they like me.
Great suggestions, Dashing. Being raised as an only child, I think I tend to "transition" topics to areas I know and that interrupts the track someone was going with in the conversation at hand. Ugh being a human is HARD!
Daily, Thanks so much. At 69, it be nice if it were 'sooner rather than later' I'd find people my presence. I do like Dashing's comment about mirroring other people. Maybe that's why we find it easy to talk to people from our old home towns, etc.
Emmyboy, great points! After moving to an RV in Orange County, CA frm Mpl and previously Milw, I find the cultural norms different. In Milw., at checkout, you can tell your life story to the clerk...here, not so much. It's all about adaptation :)
Thanks for your comment GreenPrince. Listening is the hardest part! :)
Great idea. I'm not good at simple conversations. Someone here should write a hub on how to do small talk (tee hee). Thanks DDE!
Very insightful. As it has turned out, one of the women, before she left our park, bought us a brand new George Foreman electric grill because I admired hers! Unbelieveable. "Don't compare your insides with everyone else's outsides !" Well, put!
Good practical suggestions, Dave. I have a hard time to not do all the talking. When you're raised as an only child, if YOU don't talk and keep it going, there's silence. I think I always took talking as a responsibility. It's actually a burden!