Billie Kelpin profile image 92

How do you evaluate WHY you turn people off when socializing?


It isn't always low self-esteem that causes a person to turn off others upon first meeting them. I KNOW that I do. I can't figure out why. I'm not a "small talk" person and that might be an issue. Exp: On a walk this morning I met a woman I had talked to briefly before and introduced her to another woman I was with (a casual acquaintance). They started talking about New York and somehow I could see that I had said something that turned everyone off. This happens a lot. I try not to be negative and say only positive things. I know it's SOMETHING; I just don't know what it is.

 

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tehgyb profile image91

Don Colfax (tehgyb) says

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3 years ago
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    Billie Kelpin 3 years ago

    That's been a problem of mine. I guess I said something like, "I had never wanted to go to New York, but then my daughter went to school there and I grew to love it. I mentioned an essay I wrote about it. I guess I do try for credibility.

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dailytop10 says

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3 years ago
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    Billie Kelpin 3 years ago

    Daily, Thanks so much. At 69, it be nice if it were 'sooner rather than later' I'd find people my presence. I do like Dashing's comment about mirroring other people. Maybe that's why we find it easy to talk to people from our old home towns, etc.

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Emmyboy says

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3 years ago
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    Billie Kelpin 3 years ago

    Emmyboy, great points! After moving to an RV in Orange County, CA frm Mpl and previously Milw, I find the cultural norms different. In Milw., at checkout, you can tell your life story to the clerk...here, not so much. It's all about adaptation :)

Lisa HW profile image83

Lisa HW says

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3 years ago
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    Billie Kelpin 3 years ago

    You sound as if you have a very "cute" personality, Lisa. The casual thing gets me. The people I really, really am close to, accept who I am. I have other friends with whom I have to pretend I'm always happy, etc, but I do like them and they like me.

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dashingscorpio says

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3 years ago
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    Billie Kelpin 3 years ago

    Great suggestions, Dashing. Being raised as an only child, I think I tend to "transition" topics to areas I know and that interrupts the track someone was going with in the conversation at hand. Ugh being a human is HARD!

GreenPrince profile image79

Prince Edike (GreenPrince) says

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3 years ago
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    Billie Kelpin 3 years ago

    Thanks for your comment GreenPrince. Listening is the hardest part! :)

b4u2 profile image61

wtf u cannoT D0 a damThing here!!!??? (b4u2) says

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3 years ago
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    Billie Kelpin 3 years ago

    Very insightful. As it has turned out, one of the women, before she left our park, bought us a brand new George Foreman electric grill because I admired hers! Unbelieveable. "Don't compare your insides with everyone else's outsides !" Well, put!

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Devika Primić (DDE) says

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3 years ago
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    Billie Kelpin 3 years ago

    Great idea. I'm not good at simple conversations. Someone here should write a hub on how to do small talk (tee hee). Thanks DDE!

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Dave36 says

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3 years ago
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    Billie Kelpin 3 years ago

    Good practical suggestions, Dave. I have a hard time to not do all the talking. When you're raised as an only child, if YOU don't talk and keep it going, there's silence. I think I always took talking as a responsibility. It's actually a burden!