When a man is hesitant to enter into an exclusive relationship or marriage it’s often said he has a "fear of commitment" and when a woman is hesitant to enter into an exclusive relationship or turns down a marriage proposal she is seen as someone who is "refusing to settle". Bearing in mind that (most people do) eventually get married; why is it so difficult for some people who didn’t get what they wanted to admit to themselves that in the eyes of their ex (they) were simply not “the one”?
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Excellent point! The result is the same. Ego seems to come into play in the description. "Refusing to settle" implies one is in control of their choices and "Fear of commitment" implies one is (being controlled) by anxieties. Both are "avoiding".
Yes, I'm thinking like you. Exactly the same. Of course, there always may be an exception and somebody may need more time to "settle". This is OK; so long it is not like "for ever...." :)
i VERY MUCH ADMIRE THIS SOUND PIECE OF ADVICE..
Very true, no one wants to admit (they) were wrong for someone.
swilliams, Thanks for stopping by and posting your answer. I agree it's hard to admit when we are not "the one". However once we do we can move on. We're always someone's "type". It's just a matter of the "right people" coming together! :-)
Too funny! The end result is neither one of these people will be getting married for a long time! You're right as we get older our list of "must haves" shrinks and we focus on the (important) stuff. There's no "perfect mate" or guarantees in life!
In my eyes "settling" means reaching a final decision. However most see it as taking what they can get over what they want or feel they deserve. I wrote this. https://hubpages.com/relationships/Relationships-D...
Excellent Hub. Interesting Question. Makes you think. Thank you, for reading my view to your hub! Have a nice Memorial Weekend, dashingscorpio....
The initial "infatuation phase" does lead most people in (new) relationships to believe they've finally met "the one". When things don't work out they usually blame the other person.
Fear of commitment/refusing to settle could be viewed as two sides of the same coin! One wants to avoid making a (major) mistake. The other is holding out for "perfection". Admitting you’re not “the one” (helps you) to move on. It's the truth.
Yea, but I also think they are different. There are different reasons for both fear of commitment and refusing to settle, it's not just about " avoid making a (major) mistake" or "holding out for "perfection"
danicole,I guess what I'm really saying is the "end result" is the same!:) Both people are (not committing) to anyone at this time. According statistics both (will) eventually get married. People who "fear commitment" actually fear a messy divorce
I do agree the end result is the same!!!
I agree with you. A lot of people romanticize the past buy saying he/she was "the one" and they'll never find love again. However as you stated if they were (really) "the one" they would still be together!
I was one of them who thought I had let "the one" get away, & i did dwell on it for over a year..During that year i was reminiscing trying to work out what "I'd" done wrong, but "i" split up with her so how mad is that?..The mind is very tricky!l