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Is there a real difference between “fear of commitment” and “refusing to settle”?


When a man is hesitant to enter into an exclusive relationship or marriage it’s often said he has a "fear of commitment" and when a woman is hesitant to enter into an exclusive relationship or turns down a marriage proposal she is seen as someone who is "refusing to settle". Bearing in mind that (most people do) eventually get married; why is it so difficult for some people who didn’t get what they wanted to admit to themselves that in the eyes of their ex (they) were simply not “the one”?

 

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jantamaya profile image85

Best Answer Maria Janta-Cooper (jantamaya) says

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3 years ago
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    dashingscorpio 3 years ago

    Excellent point! The result is the same. Ego seems to come into play in the description. "Refusing to settle" implies one is in control of their choices and "Fear of commitment" implies one is (being controlled) by anxieties. Both are "avoiding".


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lostohanababy says

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3 years ago
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Emunah La Paz (swilliams) says

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3 years ago
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    dashingscorpio 3 years ago

    swilliams, Thanks for stopping by and posting your answer. I agree it's hard to admit when we are not "the one". However once we do we can move on. We're always someone's "type". It's just a matter of the "right people" coming together! :-)

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Foodeee says

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3 years ago
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    dashingscorpio 3 years ago

    Very true, no one wants to admit (they) were wrong for someone.

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Paula (fpherj48) says

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3 years ago
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    dashingscorpio 3 years ago

    Too funny! The end result is neither one of these people will be getting married for a long time! You're right as we get older our list of "must haves" shrinks and we focus on the (important) stuff. There's no "perfect mate" or guarantees in life!

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Dr Billy Kidd says

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3 years ago
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    dashingscorpio 3 years ago

    The initial "infatuation phase" does lead most people in (new) relationships to believe they've finally met "the one". When things don't work out they usually blame the other person.

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danicole says

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3 years ago
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    dashingscorpio 3 years ago

    Fear of commitment/refusing to settle could be viewed as two sides of the same coin! One wants to avoid making a (major) mistake. The other is holding out for "perfection". Admitting you’re not “the one” (helps you) to move on. It's the truth.


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Dave36 says

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3 years ago
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    dashingscorpio 3 years ago

    I agree with you. A lot of people romanticize the past buy saying he/she was "the one" and they'll never find love again. However as you stated if they were (really) "the one" they would still be together!


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