1. Become a "me" expert.
Life is a personal journey and only you know what it is you need in order to feel loved. Do some serious introspective thinking to determine what traits you need in a mate for life. Until you figure out what it is you want and need in a mate you're likely to let impulsive connections and happenstance dictate your relationship choices. That's the equivalent of going shopping without a list!
2. Create a profile of your ideal mate.
With this exercise you can be as granular as you wish. Answer as many who, where, what, when, and how questions as possible. Examples: Do they live in the city or suburbs? Shop for clothes at upscale department stores/malls or Wal-Mart, work out at a gym? What are their hobbies/interests? Do they grocery shop at a large chain store or boutique health food store, what is their occupation
After you have this image of your ideal mate imagine you are them! Making lists is the easy part. You have to be honest with yourself by asking: "If I were him/her would I want me?" If the answer is no then you need to go about cultivating the traits you believe this type of person would be attracted to. Don’t expect to sit next to the moon unless you are a star
4. Be there!
The only way to meet anyone is to be where they're at! You have to run in the same circles. The other alternative is to rely on luck, coincidence, or a chance meeting. Romantics are lonelier than proactive people. If you were very detailed with step #2 you have a pretty good idea of where to go to meet the type of person you want to meet. For hobby and singles groups searches check out Meetup.com. They have all types of activities: Wine tasting, meditation, book clubs, hiking, theater goers, dancing...etc One can gradually get to know people in the groups.
Aside from joining some groups on Meetup.com you may want to consider doing some research on some of the Online dating sites. They are not all "equal". Personally speaking I would avoid the "free sites". Below are a couple resources.
http://www.datingadvice.com/reviews (provides breakdowns of members)
http://lovealert911.com/ ( Has a free download: Avoid the Catfish!: How to date Online Successfully.)
One final note
The goal is to find someone who shares your same values, wants the same things for a relationship that you do, naturally agrees with you on how to obtain those things, and last but not least there is a mutual depth of love and desire for one another.
"Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary."
- Oscar Wilde