If you encounter a person, who for one reason or the other, live with life long battered self-esteem, gravely look down on him or herself, to the extent that, if you have reasons to appreciate, love or treat such person better than he or she thinks is deserved and responds by making you feel very much like a fool for doing that, what's the best way of dealing with such person? So, that you don't hurt them or yourself.
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In my opinion, the essence of 'community' is all about helping others. So, I want to go further by knowing how to steer others towards working on themselves for the better. Even when they can't smile at you or say thanks. Or am I asking for too much?
Unfortunately, you just may be asking for too much. A fair number of people are not open minded or open to any new ideas or pursuits yet dislike the way their lives are going. Often, it is best to not offer help unless asked.
I bet being kind is ideal. But, how do you help them dig up the root of why they feel the way they do? I do agree with the idea of no emotional involvement. So, its the how for a person you aren't emotionally close to, yet, want to show kindness to.