...if she provoked me or slapped me." or..."I was raised to hit back and nobody said not to hit women." I recently heard someone say this. Are they 'in the right' or are they cowardly? Are not men generally (physically) stronger than women. Does that matter?
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Thank you for sharing your story and your wisdom, Katya. You are so right. If a man feels the need to warn a woman, it is his way of keeping "the little lady" in line and it is definitely "crazy making."
Man! Has this question polarized the troops or what! Rarely see such passionate and REPEAT comments. Many of you need something like this in your 'arguing bag: "Hey! Whoa! Gettin' out of hand. Coffee?''.
This is a serious topic. Any man who claims "equal rights" as an excuse to hit a woman is slime. My special thanks to Katya for speaking up., and forJM for refusing to hit back.
I think I suggested early on that the question is less than clear. The 'idealistic' answer is that people should NOT slap. Then the 'real' world happens--someone slaps you, hard--your cheek is burning. You walk away? To collect your Sainthood?
Unfortunately, some women don't walk away...but I guess you're speaking about men's "rights." . Why do you think he got slapped, moonfroth?. Could she have been thouroughly humiliated? Not all men understand that! Do not bring "sainthood" into this.
Your roomate took the high road in refusing to hit back. I admire that. If the woman was violent for no discernable reason, he was right to have nothing more to do with her.
Couldnt agree more.
Hi Moonfroth, What questions do I love? Well, anyway....my point is that some "triggers" need to be addressed, but that point seems to have gotten lost here over "principles," as you mentioned in that poetic way you have of making observations.
Most people have hit someone especially during their childhood years but hopefully with age comes wisdom. I have not had a fight since I was a child because no one has hit me. People are better off assuming if they hit someone they'll be hit back!
That's quite a qualifier, dashing, I can't say I believe the word "wisdom" and "I would hit a woman if," belong in the same sentence, unless she poses an imminent threat to your life, rather than your pride. And no, I do not condone women hitting.
savvydating, the "qualifier" and "wisdom" I speak of is regarding hitting to resolve problems. It has nothing to do with "gender". Hopefully as we mature we realize it's not the best way to handle our frustrations whether you're a woman or a man.
I would assume that Dashing is not limiting that qualifier strictly to women but to all, has nothing to do with pride. I can't imagine you would feel 0 need to retaliate against a man who randomly slaps you Savvy.
Link, women who have been hit by a man don't usually hit back. They know they'll get the crap beaten out of them. If they have any sense of self-worth, they'll walk away---forever.
There is a difference between hitting and abuse. I was under the impression this question was inspired by the former, not the latter. Not that I disagree with that last part.
The question was inspired by slapping. I am an advocate for women because I understand how unsafe women feel. I am also disturbed that soneone who gives advice to women would use lofty language to condone retaliation. That is highly disturbing.
I condone your inaction if a man/woman decides to slap you in the future for no discernible reason. I am sure it does not send the message that you are a door mat or anything.
Were you actually interested in answers to this question at all?
savvydating, I don't believe in "double standards" period. The only advice I'm giving is (neither gender) should (initiate) violence. If a woman feels the urge to slap a man then she needs to walk away! That's not being lofty in my opinion
Well stated, junkseller. But just so we're clear, the gouging out of the eyes thing is not appropriate unless you are dealing with a serious threat. Generally speaking, the average woman is not a physical threat unless she's a gang member or such.
My definition of a self-defense situation is that it is inescapable and poses a severe threat of harm. In that extreme situation, I'll bring everything I've got. Anything else, I'll walk away from.
Good answer. Thanks for the clarification.
I agree. Thank you for commenting, pstraubie.
I agree. It's not less wrong for a woman to hit a man.
No one should be (initiating violence) in the first place!
Adults should not be acting like kids on the playground. If a woman/man feels the urge to initiate violence (they) should walk away!
I see. Perhaps you have found two friends in Link and Dashing who are also fine with hitting women.
Savvy, you seem to enjoy taking things out of context. Has nothing to do with it being a woman, if ANYONE raises their hand against me without a legitimate cause, I will retaliate as I deem necessary. Women do not get special privileges for that.
Link, what would be a legitimate cause, beyond imminent death, to hit a woman who does not have a man's body strength---even if she is fit? What is so threatening to a man that he can't just walk away? Women don't go around "randomly" slapping men.
So you've never known a woman to hit a man simply because she was too emotional? You are either a paragon of all women or are incredibly ignorant.
Self worth means nothing if you let people walk over you due to fear of what may happen.
Link.. have you ever thought that you may be the ignorant one? Maybe this is why you call others ignorant constantly. Maybe a defense mechanism?
savvydating, You seem to only see one part of what I said. I'm fine with (retaliating against anyone) who hits me FIRST! My stance is women do not have a right to (initiate violence) against men and expect a FREE PASS!
Nothing defensive about it JT. I dont randomly call people ignorant unless they show they lack understanding of something really basic but still feel they are 100% right.
Also, I never claimed I wasn't ignorant, plenty of crap I don't know.
This is one thing we can agree on.
Why do I feel like you ignored everything but the last sentence just to agree...
Your ego never seems to amaze me. You are saying a girl hits you gives you the right to hit her back? What if a man twice your size knocked you out? What would you do then? Would you give him "special" privileges?
It is worse not to do anything out of fear rather than doing something and knowing you will not succeed. You do nothing and it sends the message its okay to hit you.
So, you would hit a woman just to prove a point? I agree one must defend themselves, but this does not mean being a pansy going around hitting on women. Have you "EVER" been in an altercation at all link? I seriously doubt it.
I feel like you have extreme trouble reading JT. I also feel like you missed my initial answer to this thread, where I said it entirely depends on the situation.
I would suggest scrolling up a bit before attempting to demonize me.
I have read the whole thread. Maybe it is you who has a hard time articulating what you really want to say but it just comes out as very condescending behavior. Look at the way you talked to a woman calling her "ignorant." SMH
My initial answer was pretty clear to anyone who graduated high school.
And I guess you missed the part where she cherry picked what I said and blatantly stated that I find it okay to hit women. But I digress...
And again we must be condescending? What is going on with you that you cannot have a normal debate without being so defensive. I think it goes way deeper than you even know.
I was simply stating a fact, If it comes off as condescending, oh well. To make things simple, my stance is the same as Dashing's about 10 comments up.
And JT... ever hear the phrase the pot calling the kettle black?
Seriously, you need to really think about my previous comment. Good day.
It's difficult to take any of what you say seriously anymore JT. But good day as well.
Due to fear of what might happen, Link? As for Dashing, he has no business couseling women. JThomp,, I appreciate your standing up for me.. You suffered, yet you remained a a gentleman in your marriage. Some men fear women, but you respect them.
Dashing's logic for a man to retaliate against a woman can, and I think Dashing even stated this as well, be reversed for a woman to retaliate against a man.
Yet you seem fine in letting a woman be a door mat. Kudos, fantastic lesson.
The problem with your conclusion is: I do not accept Dashing's indecent logic. You assumption about me is false. More significantly, I am very sorry, Link, that you defend the idea of hitting women for any slight provocation. That is not Ok.
I agree that it isnt okay, except that physically assaulting someone for no discernible reason is the furthest thing from a "slight provocation".
I am sorry you see bodily harm as insufficient to retaliate against someone. Door mats rejoice.
savvydating, My actual conclusion is not so much about defending men who hit women back as it is (advising women NOT to hit men) in the first place! Why can't we agree that women should (never initiate violence) towards men? That's what I advise.
Probably because she has no interest in actually reading what you say dashing, otherwise the point you stated several times by now would have gotten through.
It was in context to the Ray Rice incident. This man is with us here on Hubpages. He stated that being "provoked" is justification for hitting a woman. He believes a slap is provocation and who knows what else. Very troubling. Thanks for commenting.
I wonder about the psyche of a man who hits if he is slapped once. Women usually have to be very humiliated before they slap. But violence isn't a good thing for anyone.
There is never a "legitimate reason" for someone to slap another person unless they were slapped themselves. No one would say a (man who was insulted by a woman) had a "legitimate reason" to slap her. Equal rights is about ending double standards
I agree with dashingscorpio. There is never a reason to hit someone. It does not matter what gender you are or how "unwarranted" the other persons actions are. It is NEVER ok to hit someone. NEVER.
Thank you for respecting women, connorj. Interesting pic you've got there, by the way.
Would you also advise if a woman (feels the urge to hit a man) SHE should walk away as well? Bullies hit people whom they know will not defend themselves. No one has the right to (initiate violence). There's no upside for women to slap men around.
You said..."I've told every woman I've ever dated; I'll never hit you unless you hit me."
Are you serious? And they were OK with that? That's sad.
Yes, I've always been upfront with women I dated. None of them "tested me" either. I can't think of a legitimate reason to hit anyone unless they (hit you) first. If a woman has the urge to slap a man (she) should walk away!
Thank you! I had hoped a man would come in here and not mince words. I feel the same way---making excuses is a bunch of drivel, couched in terms of "equal rights." Please. As my son said, equal rights does not mean equal strength.
" big deal if she hit first. dont be such a pussy. take it like a man" LOL! Anyone who hits you is acting like a child! That's my point. No one should be hitting anyone! It's wise for women not to initiate violence against men and vice versa.
Dashing, you have quite the talent. I went ahead and counted and thats around the 10th time on this thread alone that you have repeated that viewpoint.
It would be a shock how anyone could mistake your stance on this...
Thank you, Evane.
He said this in relation to the Rice incident. He basically stated that the woman provoked Rice by slapping him.
JThompson, how could that be wrong? Repeated slapping is unacceptable. I'm glad you didn't lower yourself to her standards. Instead, you got out. That was wise.
Thank you---for taking the high road...and for leaving that woman to her own devises. It's her loss.
This is what I mean by restraining until they stop - you aren't wrong in doing this.
Thank you jl.
I think that's a great response to a bad situation. Good for you, for keeping a cool head.
Thank you Lisa.
That is what happens in places that people are out of control, they are restrained until they stop. It used when children are out of control ,you hold them ,hug them, and help them calm down. It is acceptable and non violent .
Thank you Penny.