"We adore those who ignore us and ignore those who adore us."
I'm not sure who said that but it's often true of women who are going through their "bad boy" phase.
I've often said you can stick a woman in a room with five guys and have four them down on their knees extending their heart out towards her while the fifth guy sits in a corner sipping on a cocktail acting as if she does not exist. That will be the guy she wants to get to know!
Women who are going through a "bad boy" phase place a higher value on guys who are a "challenge". The kind that makes them (earn) his love, time, and attention. In fact if she is aware other women are interested in him then his stock goes up even higher. There's nothing like "competition" to make such women go "all out" to (win) him over. The "bad boy" keeps her guessing about how he feels. He's stingy with compliments and makes himself unavailable for periods of time without giving real explanations. This makes him "mysterious" in her eyes.
Knowing that he is NOT (emotionally invested) in her keeps her on her best behavior. She knows he could walk away in heartbeat and never look back at her. The "bad boy" keeps her reaching. The drama and instability of the relationship keeps things exciting for her.
By contrast the "nice guy" is up front about his feelings. He puts her on a pedestal and would bend over backwards to make her happy and be her savior from all that is wrong with the world. However the woman going through a "bad boy" phase sees the "nice guy" as being (too nice), boring/predictable. Stability doesn't excite the passions within her. Therefore she either puts him in the "Friend Zone" or rejects/ignores him.
It's only (after a few brutal heartaches) and the realization that time is passing her by that the woman in the "bad boy" phase decides to jump off the roller coaster and find a guy who treats her well and she'll (try) to love him back. Thus the: "Nice guys finish last" cliché.
"Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary."
- Oscar Wilde
Gabryela, In order for (them) to be "the one" they would have to see (you) as being "the one". At the very least a "soul-mate" is someone who (loves you and is committed to you). This person you love doesn't see you as being "the one" for them!
Never separate your mind from your heart when making relationship decisions. The purpose of the mind is to protect the heart.