This is a very tough question!
First of all it is obvious that you have lost your wife, ... or rather you haven't ever had her for real.
Second, and this is the big question! You are most likely emotionally very close to the children. So whatever you do in you disappointment (and anger), then do NOT do anything that could result in a situation in which you also have lost your children.
So, continue to love the children, and do what is the best for them.