Hey Kari, I was able to answer this question for myself after I read these books: "Never Be Lied To Again" by David J. Lieberman, "Reading People" by Jo-Ellen Dimitrius and "The Definitive Book of Body Language" by Allan and Barbara Pease.
Getting to the answer required me to interact with the person by interpreting facial expressions, body movements and vocal inflections followed by discussion and questions that successfully unlocked the motive to my satisfaction.
I was then able to make a comfortable decision on the future of our relationship. But first I had to research and practice some of the techniques. This was not a quickie solution.