Does it (usually) mean she has no "romantic interest" in him? Are there any ladies who have ever offered to pay half or all for a "first date" because you wanted to remove the "dating aspect" from the equation?
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Too funny! I guess you won't know if she REALLY likes you until she agrees to go out on a "second date". :)
I'm so curious to know why a woman paying half sends up red flags? :) It's so interesting because I just don't think that way I guess. Perhaps I'm strange...
Christin S, it's probably related to your other comment: Her paying half is her way of "Keeping a bit of distance." :)
Men view distance as a chilly reception or she doesn't feel relaxed, maybe not "into him" from a romantic standpoint.
dashingscorpio that's so true
Christin, I am from the South, so it is not common here for the woman to offer to pay. Some even stay in the car until the man opens the door for them. We spoil our ladies!
That's true. However I've heard a few ladies indicate they pay when they want to create some "romantic distance". The belief is (some men) run a mental tab and figure they're entitled to a "make out" session later. Her paying half says "no way":)
Being it's only a "first date" it's interesting you would say: "I wasn't really ready for anything (serious) and also I didn't want to send the message that I was needing a man to take care of me." Is allowing a man to pay for a 1st date serious?
Sometimes men who pay for everything might expect "everything" a little too soon. Keeping a bit of distance means getting to know someone without expectations - doesn't mean "no interest" though, but pacing oneself maybe a better way to put it?
Hopefully any man who asks a woman out on a first date shouldn't "expect" everything but there is nothing wrong with hoping! LOL!
So you're saying by paying half the bill you're creating "distance" and altering his "expectations". Interesting!
Agreed, ChristinS ("Sometimes men who pay for everything might expect "everything" a little too soon.")!
That's generally my thinking when offering to pay half of the bill on a first date. It's unfortunate some people still think this way, but true
Women have desires too. It's not just about what he expects. Some women want to have a little fun too. There is no such thing as too soon for either.
So if the bill came up to $100 and the (woman voluntarily) offered to pay a $20 tip the man gets no credit for choosing the restaurant and buying her meal? I think there are women who have such a great time they're in the mood to contribute.:)
I don't think men find it "disturbing and intimidating" to have women pay for dates. However I do believe some see a woman doing so on a (first date) as a gesture of putting the brakes on any romantic expectations he may have afterwards.
sounds like marking the boundaries
Absolutely! The real test is whether or not she agrees to go out on a (second date) or she turns her head when he attempts to kiss her good-night. No commitment to go out again & a rejected kiss combined with her paying half add up to bye-bye!:)
you know sometimes dealing with women as a man calls "extra vigilance" women sometime tend to send very mild subtle signals that if you are not keen you may fail to add 1+2 to get 3.
There is way too much energy put into sending "signals" and attempts "reading" them between the genders. She could easily say: "I'll go out with you BUT don't expect ANYTHING from me!" Now that's some real honesty! LOL!
You make an excellent point about "intentions". Some women believe if you allow a man to pay for everything he's going to "expect" something later on. That may or may not be true however if a man asks a woman out on a 1st date he should pay.:)
Very interesting! That's pretty much what TheBizWhiz said also. Offering to pay half on the "first date" does seem to signal there were no "romantic sparks" and she's not likely to go out with him again. Thanks for your answer.