Luke M Simmons profile image 78

A coworker is having an extramarital affair. Do you tell the spouse who is also your friend?


In more detail: If your coworker/friend was frequently late for work because of an extramarital affair, would you tell your boss? You have reason to believe that doing so would cause the offender to threaten your job. Would you tell the spouse who is also your friend? This would almost certainly result in an immediate divorce. Do you consider the potential impact on the lives of the couples' children before making your decision? How would you go about telling the boss/spouse? How would you protect yourself against possible retribution from the offender, your workplace, or the family?

 

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dashingscorpio profile image87

dashingscorpio says

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2 years ago
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    Luke M. Simmons (Luke M Simmons) 2 years ago

    Yeah, it's hard to know how someone is going to react. Linda made a good point about being exactly sure that your info is on point. I think that's critical. Personally, I know I would want to be told, but then again, other people react differently


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H C Palting (Express10) says

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2 years ago
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    Luke M. Simmons (Luke M Simmons) 2 years ago

    Yeah, I agree it is very hard, but if you are close enough friends to care about their well being you should tell them.

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Linda Bryen (liesl5858) says

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2 years ago
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peter565 says

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2 years ago
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    H C Palting (Express10) 2 years ago

    I have a friend whose relative did that for my friend's mom. The mom SAW the evidence and still carried on as if she was never cheated on, denied it, never confronted her hubby or ANYTHING! I'm still shocked about that.


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Sam (cougsam) says

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2 years ago
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    Luke M. Simmons (Luke M Simmons) 2 years ago

    Yeah I like this answer too... I guess it depends on your relationship with the offender and the victim. Really a quandary.

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rebekahELLE says

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2 years ago
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    Luke M. Simmons (Luke M Simmons) 2 years ago

    Great answer Rebekah, I think this is what I would do as well. Thanks for your help!


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meramour says

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2 years ago
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    Luke M. Simmons (Luke M Simmons) 2 years ago

    Yeah I've been runnnig through the scenario in my head with different couples I know. My actions depend heavily on the personalities of the couple and my relationship with them. There's definitely not a one-size-fits-all solution here. Thanks!

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marsona says

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2 years ago
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    Luke M. Simmons (Luke M Simmons) 2 years ago

    I think this is generally a good plan, but my friends get pissed off when I apply this tactic some of the time. I like people to be very honest and upfront with me. Some of my friends do not agree. I think this need ad hoc evaluation.

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TheBizWhiz says

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2 years ago
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    Luke M. Simmons (Luke M Simmons) 2 years ago

    Oh man, that's a horrible story. I can't imagine how that must have sucked. People need to learn not to shoot the messenger. Thanks for the real world insight @BizWhiz.