Assuming it is important to "un-love" a person - someone who has left you or has done something to endanger another, etc., what is the mental process of un-loving someone who may at one time been very dear to you? From watching programs like 20/20, etc, one would imagine there are many people who need this information. Perhaps it is unneccesary to "un-love" a person if you are able to compartmentalize your past life and your present life? This would be a good hub for someone to write, I think, if we, as a group, could come up with specific strategies that demonstrate this process.
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Hi Jaye-girl! Why could we not have been so wise many years ago BEFORE all the heartache came? I suspect this is the way it must be....."Happy Mother's Day!!" Peace, Paula
We earned our wisdom the hard way, Paula! Now, if we could only convince the younger generation to learn from US, they could save themselves some heartaches. Unfortunately, most of them believe they have all the answers now. Take care. Jaye
Dashing, Thanks for your response. The connection to loving yourself is a cognitive leap in my mind. You must never allow a person to treat you like a doormat, of course, but disassociating doesn't mean that you don't love the person who once was
Billie, Disassociating is the first step. Just as it took time to love someone it will take time not to be emotionally invested them as well. Nothing happens overnight. The more focus on other aspects of your life and people gradually it works.
We may choose our own friends, lovers, and spouse, but no one chooses family members, and, while one may establish boundaries and "deal-breakers" with any of them, even choose not to spend time with them, it's just different.
Jaye D., " You, correct that we don't get to choose our family. However do have a say as to whether or not we associate with them or not. If you have "toxic family members" you're not stuck dealing with them.
"Friends are the family we choose."