We all know we aren't suppose to change people, but is it wrong to expect them to evolve into the relationship as much as you do? Everyone changes a little when they marry(or live together) simply because you are combining 2 personalities in one home, but what if one person never really evolves into having to think about the other partner? Is it fair to ever expect change? At what point is demanding a change ok?
sort by best latest
This is the issue, he KNOWS it's a medical issue, but refuses to get help. Which is why I feel at some point I am going to make it clear that it is unacceptable to shut himself off from the entire world. I have anxiety, so I get it. I worry about him
If he's Christian, maybe you could get a foot in the door by suggesting he find a church to go to? Helping him get out for something social even just once a week might help him stop having as many feelings of agoraphobia or social anxiety.
I think you said what I was trying to say, but you did it better :)
Yep, that's right. Marriage is just a contract. If the two do not like each other, they can just move on and marry someone else. If this is the case, why get married?
my answer said nothing of the sort. I never suggested she just move on and marry someone else. try reading what I actually said - thanks.
In the beginning of your response, you wrote "without religious overtones". This indicates a hint of rejection of a biblical marriage. If person who truly believes in a marriage based on biblical principle, there is no ultimatum. Can you elaborate?
Marriage is not a religious institution for many of us. She didn't ask about "biblical marriage" People often turn every Q&A here into a pulpit when it's not asked for. I take my non-religious marriage very seriously so do many others.
I'm atheist Jew married to Christian, Maybe that is why Christin replied the way she did (correct me if I'm wrong). I respect your view, value my marriage but I look at our marriage outside of what the bible says.
E Matt Howerton, People get married because they believe they have found "the one". In some instances there was an unplanned pregnancy, they were tired of being single, all their friends were married, or an ultimatum was given.
Most were in love
It is actually partially the reason Peeples and for others who are in marriages that are not based on religion as well. I wasn't intending to start a debate, just pointing out a different perspective - no offense intended.
No harm no foul here. I will also state, for the record, I love my religious overture marriage and wouldn't trade it for a non biblical one. I tend to forget that the world rejects it's creator and doesn't want to hear of any relation to Him.
Peeples I did not know the context of your relationship when I commented but it does not change my answer. I will say this however, your being an atheist and him being a Christian may be at the core of your problems. You and he are like oil and water
We actually are the perfect pair, not oil and water a bit. It wasn't even a serious thing that caused the question, simply he likes to stay in more, I like to go out more, we have kids, so we NEED to go out more for their sake, but he's homebody.
I see. Well then carry on. I hope things evolve into a better situation.
You can help the HubPages community highlight top quality content by ranking this answer up or down.
To look at it another way, we will change, and our circumstances will change, and we will be stretched and tested and challenged. We can work together to change for the better, and to survive the tests we face.