Is there truth to this statement: If you love two people it means you're not "in

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   dashingscorpioposted 8 years ago

   Is there truth to this statement: If you love two people it means you're not "in love" with either?
   
   

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   Dr Billy Kiddposted 8 years ago

   Good question.
   Falling in love is defined by it's nature: You choose one person out of all the available partners. That is not a rational decision but a hormonal and neurotransmitter event. So you find yourself thinking about that person, to the exclusion of everyone else.
   If you're thinking about two or more people, you're simply in a stage of infatuation.

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      dashingscorpioposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      "..you find yourself thinking about that person, to the {exclusion} of everyone else." - Excellent point!
      I believe if one was "in love" with the (first person) they wouldn't have made time to date the second person and develop feelings of love.

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   Parimalpolymathposted 8 years ago

   It seems you are referring to romantic love of sexual origin. I think one can love more than one person at the same time but towards each person the intensity is different which helps to choose the person for which he/she has the strongest affinity. It would be immoral and unethical to see both of the 'beloveds' as partner and in that case the feeling of love will be reduced to sexual instincts of finding mates. Throughout our lives we meet persons of opposite sex whom we find attractive (assuming heterosexuality) but our moral values - which we learn from our society and our own rationality - help us restrain our feelings. So it is not true that loving two persons is equivalent to loving no one; but nurturing love for both of them will raise questions regarding their moral validity.

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      dashingscorpioposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Parimalpolymath, You're correct regarding this question being of the romantic nature. It's listed under Gender Relatons- Non-Monogamous & Cheating in Relationships. I believe people who are “in love” don’t cheat while those who love/care may.

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   Faceless39posted 8 years ago

   Polyamorists would probably disagree with that statement. However, I'm not poly, so for me being in love with more than one person would be difficult to grasp. That said, many poly "couples" live very happily with multiple partners. Who am I to judge? Love is a wonderful thing in any form..

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   aliasisposted 8 years ago

   Disagree. You can love an infinite number of people. But love alone doesn't make a relationship - willingness to commit and make hard choices for the greater good are elements, too, as well as being practical - it's perfectly possible to be in love with someone, but realize that they just aren't a good partner for you for whatever reason (you have different aspirations in life, you lead very different lifestyles, etc). Relationships therefore have building blocks that aren't purely about love, and in the end, the best partner for you is something you have to choose. You could love two people, or a thousand, but for typical monogamous relationships, you pick one, probably for some reasons that aren't romance-related, and then work and develop that relationship hopefully into something long term and lasting.
   
   Unless, of course, you and your partners are comfortable with polyamory. Then, as long as everyone is honest and on the same page, you could have as many partners as you like.

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      dashingscorpioposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      I believe when you're "in love" you believe your mate is "the one"!
      On the other hand if you just (love someone) it means you care a lot about them but they may not be "the one" in your eyes. You'd be open to explore other possibilities.

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   ketageposted 8 years ago

   Yeah, I think that statement is accurate, you can love many people, but I believe you can only be "in love" with one.
   
   If you are really in love with someone, it is impossible to fall in love with another.
   If you think that you are in love with two people, then I think that you are not "in love" with either one.
   
   I remember reading a poem by J.W Bourdillon
   
   "The mind has a thousand eyes,
       And the heart but one:
   Yet the light of a whole life dies
       When love is done".
   
   If a person thinks they are in love with two people, then it is the mind, if it was the heart, then there would be no question that the person was "the one".

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      dashingscorpioposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      ketage, So many people confuse loving someone with being "in love" with someone. Like you I believe what J.W. Bourdillon is saying if someone is "in love" the heart has but one eye. You don't have the desire to go out on dates with anyone else.

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