I agree that both are bad but what would you view as a worse "pain" (obviously not physical pain but heartbreak or hurt). Being in a physically abusive relationship with a otherwise faithful partner Or being in a physically affectionate relationship with a promiscuous partner who had numerous affairs or at least one ongoing affair while you were together (so not one one night stand mistake - constant cheating)?
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Very true. i think though there are stuff that holds us back from "moving on quickly" - considering the kids, financial issues, second chances etc. Making it out, I know how hard it is but I do acknowledge that it is possible. Yes YOU CAN DO BETTER
That's true especially if one focuses more on the "obstacles" rather than the "rewards" of making a change.
'If you really want to do something, you'll find a way. If you don't, you'll find an excuse." - Jim Rohn
There's always an excuse to stay
That is absolutely true. Having experienced both I know for a fact it's not as easy as most think to just "leave or that you shouldn't tolerate it". It is a lot harder and complex and I think no-one can understand or judge unless they've been there
Yes, I agree. It's also emotional abuse and manipulation that keeps you there. You get convinced that things will change. You get convinced that it's your fault too... Ultimately UNTIL YOU break away you can never be free
"People treat us how WE ALLOW them to treat us."(anonymous) Some people mistreat everyone!:)
Seriously it's not so much about (them) as much as it is (us choosing not to spend time) with those we dislike.
No one is "stuck" with anyone.
Yup I totally agree. I've experienced both too. I stuck around throughout the physical abuse hoping it would get better BUT only once I found out about the affairs that I got a divorce and left. There probably is a connection - I just didn't know it
Jade...So good that you finally do know.KEY mistake = "hoping it would get better." We hope~but it never gets better, it cannot & it will not. It CAN however get worse..even fatal. The message will always be. LEAVE. GET OUT NOW! Don't look back.
Yes Paula. You definitely are right. Knowing from how I felt at the time I can confidently say though that it doesn't feel that way when you're still in. When you're out it's easier to say GET OUT. But when you're in it just doesn't feel that easy.
People in general HATE starting over!
I know people who hate their jobs but don't send out resumes! Staying and hoping (he) changes is "easier" than for (her) to change. When we change our circumstances change.
Now that is 100% accurate! It is the hardest. It's like fear of the unknown. And leaving on it's own poses so much challenges especially when you have a child or children! Then there's custody, maintenance etc to worry about
Having experienced both, I don't see it as offensive. I stayed through physical abuse finding ways to justify it. But for me cheating was the ultimate betrayal leading to my divorce. I saw that over the abuse as my husband saying he did not love me
Yeah you're definitely right. Thanks
That is exactly the case! It's sad to think that you could be in a relationship where you think that you are loved only to find out that not only were you cheated on but you now have a lifelong disease to deal with as a constant reminder