I think people need to be VERY careful about automatically assuming SOME things are a matter of someone trying to control someone else. The examples given here are different situations. Anyone who has ever put some party/get-together/event together knows how things can change and/or all the things involved with, say, "..can't buy this until I pick up that" or "don't know if we'll need six or twenty because so-and-so- hasn't let me know if x, x, and/or x are coming". Anyone who hasn't put together enough of these things, or a mix of types of them (four-year-old's birthday or engagement party?) will also run into complications unless/until he does.
So in fairness, someone may not even anticipate what may go on unless it does. Planning ahead and preventing issues comes with experience. So the problem can be that the person really didn't even know how complicated things might turn, herself.
A similar kind of thing can happen with errands. The biggest problem could be that the person assumes you don't mind "being a little flexible" and/or that you don't think to make it clear that two errands is fine with you, but if it may turn into more then it isn't.
Wanting to have control over how a party goes and knowing how to head off problems is a different thing than wanting to control people in relationships.
Young people (and often older men) often don't get at all involved in some things so they don't even know how "complications" can happen. Kids often think their mother is a "control freak" because, for example, she doesn't want five-year-olds bringing their drink or snack into a living room. She knows the work/cost involved in a damaged/stained rug and doesn't think eating/drinking in other rooms is a big deal. Kids may see something like as her being "a control freak", just because they can't do whatever they feel like doing. Teens who don't realize their mother won't try to stop them from doing SOME things when they're a little older see it as "control freak".
Genuine "control freaks" can get into struggles if someone else is not willing to be controlled. Or they can think that everyone else is the same kind of control freak that they are (when everyone else is not).
So, people need to be careful about "assuming control-motivations". Having said all that, playing "control games" or "manipulation games" may be common but are not normal/healthy.