The best relationship advice I ever received: Keep strong boundaries.
My coach Nancy Powers explained that to me and I have been teaching my clients ever since: Strong boundaries create healthy relationships.
Boundaries mean that you spell out for yourself (and others) what is not okay for other people to do to you.
• Strong boundaries mean that you enforce your boundaries as soon as they are crossed. Don't wait until the person does it 10 times to tell them you don't like it. Tell them the first time it happens and ask them to stop or point out what you prefer them to do instead.
• Large boundaries mean that you move the potential violation as far from hurting you as possible.
For example, in domestic violence, if you have your boundary that it's not OK for other people to hit you, your boundary is very close to your physical body. Once it's crossed, you may be already hurt.
• But before hitting you, the person will usually yell at you. If you make your boundary that it's not OK for people to yell at you, then the chance of you being hit becomes lower.
• But before they yell, they probably were taking in raised voices. If you move your boundary that it's not OK for people to talk in a raised voice to you, your chance of being physically hit decreases further.
• But before they raised voices, they likely to have been talking with a charge in their voice. Pick this moment and you make your boundaries even wider and the chance of getting hit drops again.
Keeping strong and large boundaries is important for every person. Think what you do not like and then work it out what boundaries need to be to ensure this doesn't happen and you don't get hurt or uncomfortable.
For example, you may have a boundary about age difference in a couple( http://blogs.elenasmodels.com/en/age-difference-in... Then if you have someone who is too young or too old contacting you through a dating site, you will not succumb to the desire to start a relationship with a person who you know is not right for you.
If you think of your past problems in relationships, you may be able to see how this was caused by the failure to set up boundaries.
• Narrow and weak boundaries cause other people to cross them too often.
• Strong and wide boundaries help you to feel confident and content in your relationships.
Naturally, you are supposed to abide yourself what you ask from others. You cannot yell at your partner and request them not to raise their voice at you, for example.