The truth of the matter is people measure love by their own means.
Everyone has their own idea of what love is suppose to look like, feel like, and how someone should act. This explains why people often say: "If you loved me you would....etc" (They expect things.)
Essentially if the person doesn't behave or treat them the way (they) expect they don't believe he/she loves them!
For example lets say a woman is with a man who doesn't buy her flowers, token gifts, cards, serve her breakfast in bed, or set up weekend getaways "just because". She may not (feel) loved.
However if an intruder busted through the door he would protect her by sacrificing his life for her! Can she really say her man doesn't love her? Nevertheless she's not being loved the way (she) wants.
The reality is everyone is looking for someone who will love them (the way they want or expect to be loved).
Anything short of that raises doubt in their mind.
There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in relationships: We either get what we want or we learn to be happy with what we have. Accept them (as is) or move on.
If something doesn't (feel) right to you it's probably not right for you!