Let's say a woman really enjoys a man's company and conversation. She actually likes everything about this man, but alas, the sexual chemistry just isn't there for her? How do you tell him you don't feel the same way? Have any of you been "let down" gently? What did the other person say without making you feel resentful?
sort by best latest
Great answer, dashing! I also agree that it is not suitable to offer a platonic friendship. However, if he really can handle the "rejection" and wants to stay in touch, then I believe that is fine since their conversations are so fulfilling.
You're a brave woman, Aime. If someone told me "There is no chemistry," I would feel really depressed, at least for the day. Lol.
To be honest, it's easier to lie. But, as you said, lying could confuse matters--and it really isn't being a grown-up.
I guess knowing that I've had no chemistry with some objectively really great men, I feel like it's not personal in the sense of "there's something wrong with you/something that YOU are missing." If that makes sense?
Good point. I've not felt attraction to lots of men. No reason why they might feel the same way about me. But maybe something like "I am not feeling the connection I thought I would; I hope you understand." I think that would be less "humiliating."
A part of me has a certain amount of admiration for a man who keeps trying. With him, I can be firm. But when the guy is angry or shocked, it's harder to be blunt---at least for me. But you've made it work, Christin, so it can't be all that bad. Lol
Myilraj, This sounds like a case in which this woman was not being responsible. Dating every Sunday & suddenly "just friends?" The case I am referring to is a brand new relationship in which the man falls really fast. BTW, you sound like a nice
Ya but, suddenly falling on this type of relation ship is something unusual as far as I had seen. Thanks for your comment.
Jeez. I hardly think most men are going to "end it all." And personally, I do not engage in sex if I do not feel any physical attraction. I'm talking about men who fall fast even if two people who are still in the getting-to-know each-other phase.
Chemistry is a huge deal in relationships, otherwise every male-female friendship would be bordering on an intimate relationship. I have guy friends who I think are amazing human beings but I don't feel "that way" about them and that's 100% okay.
Thanks, Aime. I totally agree.
Not everyone believes in trying to change water into wine.
The goal is to find someone who (already is) the kind of person you want to be with! Chemistry and compatibility are a "must have" for most people.