Yes, I’ve done my best to apply certain formulas (sound advice) for love with my wife throughout our long happy and stable marriage.
A sustained loving relationship isn’t something that just happens; it has to be worked at constantly, and requires commitment, communication and co-operation from both partners.
One key formula (cornerstone) to any good relationship; from my limited experience e.g. I’ve only ever been in one relationship, and from what I’ve seen of friends where their relationships have been less successful, is the need to ‘grow together’, and ‘not apart’ e.g. too many couples lead separate lives, develop separate interests and grow apart, and then wonder (years later) why they have little in common.
I’ve always made a point of taking an interest in my wife’s interests, and encouraging her to take an interest in mine; and our policy has always been (for the vast majority of time) that when we go out then we go out together; and any friends of mine or my wife automatically becomes our friends, as a couple (single entity).
I met my wife when we were teenagers, so neither of us was experienced in relationships when we married. However, fortunately, just after our marriage a new weekly magazine went on sale:-
‘New Man and Woman, for Better Loving Relationships’ by Marshall Cavendish
Over the next 12 months (52 weekly parts) it built into a seven volume reference guide packed with good sound advice and common sense (formulas) for better loving relationships with your partner.
Good advice like not calling your wife fat or ugly, or telling her she’s no good in bed as a passing comment or in a heated exchange of words; which only serves to build barriers and resentment.
Instead, it’s much better to praise and encourage your partner, and use more positive language in banter or ‘sweet nothings’ rather than undermine her self-confidence and self-esteem with negative remarks. And if your partner is over-sensitive about being overweight or short then words like ‘well built’ or ‘vertically challenged’ (even in jest) can sometimes still demoralise them, and if so are then best avoided or limited in use.
My wife and I over the years have tried to follow the advice and tips in the publication, and quite successfully I think; albeit I guess after all these years the publication is probably now out of print, which if so is a great shame because we found it a ‘gem’.