Did or do you today have a formula for love for/with a partner/spouse?

1. 86

   tsmogposted 7 years ago

   Did or do you today have a formula for love for/with a partner/spouse?
   
   Seems there are mathematical formulas for love. One is L = 8 + .5Y - .2P + .9Hm + .3Mf + J - .3G - .5(Sm - Sf)2 + I + 1.5C (Google Title: Mathematicians Claim To Have Discovered The Formula For Love. Footnote: There is a table for variables - Discussion points) It points out wit has a greater value than sex appeal, hmmmm . . . 
   
   

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2. 82

   dashingscorpioposted 7 years ago

   
   
   No I have never used a "mathematical formula" for choosing a mate.
   Generally speaking my {initial impetus} for approaching a woman is based upon me being physically attracted to her.
   Next comes personality, sense of humor, and compatibility/chemistry.
   Time together will determine the rest as I get to know her better.
   The goal is to find someone who shares your same values, wants the same things for a relationship that you do, naturally agrees with you on how to obtain those things, and last but not least have a mutual depth of love and desire for one another.
   Compatibility trumps compromise!
   Like attracts like and opposites attract divorce attorneys!
   There is no amount of "work" or "communication" that can overcome being with someone who simply does NOT want what you want.
   There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in relationships: We either get what we want or we learn to be happy with what we have. Accept them (as is) or move on.
   They say relationships are "hard work" but the reality is finding the "right mate" is the real hard work! You have to know what you want.
   The goal is to find someone who (already is) what you want.

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      tsmogposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you for answering dashingscorpio :-) I agree with first impression as sexual attraction leading the dance steps of Love. That is kinda' the author's comment at the article end after trying out this formula too.

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3. 55

   peter565posted 7 years ago

   I don't think u can say there is a formula for love success. Something that work for one couple won't work for another. This is because different people want different thing and what is good for one person is bad for another. This apply to many arena. For example, growing up, I hate, the place I lived, for my mum, she like to spend her life, living in her home, which is a big and beautiful place and her own private place. For me on the other hand, the word "home" is nothing more then a shelter, a place to sleep in, put my stuff and watch TV, I like to live in the world, surrounded by people and have place to go to. U can image, why, growing up having to live with my mum that moved from one place that is literally in the middle of nowhere and a bunch of gardening job and home ware work to do, drive me nuts and how much I enjoy it, when I finally moved out of home and got a small apartment in the city, where I am in walking distance to anywhere I want and because it is a small studio, there is no home ware work, to do, but for somebody like my mum, living in a small studio in the city, would literally be a nightmare for her.
   
   The same applys for dating, different people wants different thing, what work for one person won't necessary work for another. The secret is find somebody that works for u and u works for him/her also.

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   1. 86

      tsmogposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you peter565 for responding. I think your secret shared is wise. Love does have to work for both.

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4. 45

   Ericdierkerposted 7 years ago

   Well my wife loves me -- so the formula is wrong. Like blood coursing through our veins of a river large and wild, there is no way to grab a sequence of truth today and apply it to now or tomorrow. It ain't like DNA, it is fluid. It is like trying to capture the particles in wind this second and say it is the same next second. Love is harder to gauge than light particles or sound waves. Sonar and Doppler are far more accurate than love readings.
   There are two songs. One sings about my love is deeper than.... and the other by Randy Travis I believe turns it into a concept of deeper than;;;;
   I still love my mom and dad though they are gone from us. And I love puppy dogs. But I could never compare that or the love of my children to the love of my wife.
   The formula is this; What the heck!?

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   1. 86

      tsmogposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you Eric for the sharing your light spanning across dimensions intertwining abstractly, yet finite. Perhaps Love is as said, "What the heck!?". The worlds greatest mystery never solved except standing alone, yet together binds for eternity.

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      Ericdierkerposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      That is cool Tim.

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5. 61

   Michael-Milecposted 7 years ago

   Love as a spiritual swiftly moving entity cannot be put in any formula, since it's true identity is not in words but in action. Giving is  a clue; That what I ike the most, appreciate the best, I give to my wife and  my wife does  the same ( She initiated the idea) . Now and always we  both have the best we can afford living in contentment, happy and blessed.

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   1. 86

      tsmogposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you Michael-Milec for sharing from your heart and life experience. I like " . . . living in contentment, happy, and blessed" :-)

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6. 93

   Nathanvilleposted 7 years ago

   Yes, I’ve done my best to apply certain formulas (sound advice) for love with my wife throughout our long happy and stable marriage.
   
   A sustained loving relationship isn’t something that just happens; it has to be worked at constantly, and requires commitment, communication and co-operation from both partners.
   
   One key formula (cornerstone) to any good relationship; from my limited experience e.g. I’ve only ever been in one relationship, and from what I’ve seen of friends where their relationships have been less successful, is the need to ‘grow together’, and ‘not apart’ e.g. too many couples lead separate lives, develop separate interests and grow apart, and then wonder (years later) why they have little in common.
   
   I’ve always made a point of taking an interest in my wife’s interests, and encouraging her to take an interest in mine; and our policy has always been (for the vast majority of time) that when we go out then we go out together; and any friends of mine or my wife automatically becomes our friends, as a couple (single entity).
   
   I met my wife when we were teenagers, so neither of us was experienced in relationships when we married.  However, fortunately, just after our marriage a new weekly magazine went on sale:-
   
   ‘New Man and Woman, for Better Loving Relationships’ by Marshall Cavendish
   
   Over the next 12 months (52 weekly parts) it built into a seven volume reference guide packed with good sound advice and common sense (formulas) for better loving relationships with your partner.
   Good advice like not calling your wife fat or ugly, or telling her she’s no good in bed as a passing comment or in a heated exchange of words; which only serves to build barriers and resentment. 
   
   Instead, it’s much better to praise and encourage your partner, and use more positive language in banter or ‘sweet nothings’ rather than undermine her self-confidence and self-esteem with negative remarks.   And if your partner is over-sensitive about being overweight or short then words like ‘well built’ or ‘vertically challenged’ (even in jest) can sometimes still demoralise them, and if so are then best avoided or limited in use.
   
   My wife and I over the years have tried to follow the advice and tips in the publication, and quite successfully I think; albeit I guess after all these years the publication is probably now out of print, which if so is a great shame because we found it a ‘gem’.

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