The most important thing to me is (natural) compatibility!
There is no amount of "work" or "communication" that can overcome being with someone who simply does NOT want what you want!
I'm not talking about little preferences such as brands of toothpaste.
If one person wants children and the other doesn't or one is willing to relocate to wherever the opportunity is to advance their career while the other wants to stay right where they are for life....etc
One person wants to have sex 4 times a week and the other is content with once per week. Over a year's time that's 208 VS 52 times per year!
Any so called "middle" in situations like these would be a (dramatic) change. People don't "change" unless (they) are unhappy.
The goal is to find someone who shares your same values, wants the same things for the relationship that you do, naturally agrees with you on how to obtain those things, and last but not least have a mutual depth of love and desire for one another.
Compatibility trumps compromise!
Like attracts like and opposites attract divorce attorneys!
There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in relationships: We either get what we want or we learn to be happy with what we have. Accept them (as is) or move on.
People say relationships are "hard work" but the reality is choosing the "right mate" is the really hard work!
Life is too short to be trying to "change water into wine".