What do you think about faking happiness in a marriage?

1. 45

   DDEposted 6 years ago

   What do you think about faking happiness in a marriage?
   
   Faking happiness in a marriage ruins your relationship. Do you think couples should stay in an unhappy marriage for the sake of others?

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2. 83

   gmwilliamsposted 6 years ago

   
   
   A resounding HELL......to the....NO.   Faking happiness in a marriage or in any endeavor is living falsely & being inauthentic.   Live TRUTH.  If one isn't happy in a marriage, divorce.  It is far better to divorce & be psychically happy than to remain in an unhappy marriage & front.  Fronting is the highest form of hypocrisy.   Don't be a hypocrite & live a lie for the sake of others.  Be you, people will respect you for it ultimately.   Remember, people who live TRUTH are happier.

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3. 45

   Ericdierkerposted 6 years ago

   It the short term of course you should fake happiness. I really did not like the tie my wife bought me but I fake the happiness and gladly wear it the next day.
   
   Our problem from 30 year old's to 60. Is we seek happiness as a goal. No great mind going back to the ideas of happiness as a virtue has concluded that happiness is a virtue.
   Should every woman going through depression divorce their husbands.
   "I just am not happy - so let us divorce". Let me suggest that those spouses do not got out and find happiness after divorce. It is not the marriage that makes them unhappy it is somethings else. We like to say "happiness is an inside job".
   Did you know that faking happiness is a clinical technique for coping with "unhappiness/depression".
   As for the sake of others? How about for the sake of each other to help them get through it.
   Happiness is self made and the marriage has only a small part it that.

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   1. 82

      dashingscorpioposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Would you say the "prerequisites" for {getting married} are different from staying married? Should a person (marry) someone they're unhappy with? If the answer is (no) then "I just am not happy - so let us divorce." would follow the same logic.

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   2. 45

      Ericdierkerposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Really you think that fits?

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   3. 82

      dashingscorpioposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      I suppose so. If for example someone wouldn't marry a cheater. It makes sense to me that they would divorce a spouse who cheated.
      Should one's standards/requirements be higher BEFORE marriage than they are after marriage? Same "deal breakers"?

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   4. 45

      Ericdierkerposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Well there is that strange thing about "falling in love" vs. "staying love". A newlywed is not the same thing as a 10 year old marriage with 2 children. A racer does not start the race panting. A kindergartner is not the same as a 12th grader.

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   5. 82

      dashingscorpioposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Eric, I hear what you're saying.
      However I do understand why people might be consistent when it comes to their "deal breakers".
      If they wouldn't marry someone because of (whatever) they don't feel they should stay married to them because of it

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   6. 45

      Ericdierkerposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Yes I think your response is more in line with the question. It just wrankles me a bit that people think that their happiness comes from another. Rather than a self determined mindset and effort at being happy from within. "you don't make me happy"

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4. 82

   dashingscorpioposted 6 years ago

   
   
   Life is a (personal) journey!
   A marriage should be about being with a "soul-mate" not a "cell mate". Faking happiness guarantees things will never change in one's life. You get more of what you (appear) to be happy with.
   The only justification I could come up with for faking happiness in a marriage is because one has ulterior motives or a plan to exit and doesn't want their spouse to know yet.
   This is very common where one might be in an abusive or extremely toxic relationship. They execute their plan carefully.
   Anyone who is unhappy in a marriage and chooses to stay is (choosing) to be unhappy! No one is "stuck" with anyone.
   When (we) change our circumstances change.
   Life is too short to (choose to live in misery).

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   1. 83

      gmwilliamsposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      A++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

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5. 70

   starkmichaelposted 6 years ago

   Absolutely not. I divorced my ex because, while we loved each other whole-heartedly when we got married, over time our life goals became different. Why on earth should I fake happiness, when I could have the opportunity to be truly happy? It was the best for both of us -- we had a good run together, and then when we came to a split in the path of life, he chose one way and I chose another.
   
   Was it painful at first? Of course. But now we're both happier for it.

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   1. 83

      gmwilliamsposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      +++++++++++++++

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6. 87

   nochanceposted 6 years ago

   Nobody should stay in an unhappy relationship of any sort. You only get one life, you might as well spend it with people who make you happy.
   
   People change and grow over time. Just because you loved someone once doesn't mean you have to love them forever.

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