I realize this may appear to be a joke but this is no laughing matter! It is almost impossible for me to have a steady relationship with a woman because I am constantly being tempted by other women. There have been situations where women have literally demanded my attention and forced their affections upon me. I am a professional musician, and one night a woman sent her husband home and then literally begged me to go with her into the woods behind the bar! I do not consider myself extremely good looking, nor have I ever had lots of money, but I can't go shopping without women hitting on me.
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That would probably work Aime.
Aime,I have tried a similar approach but to no avail. Even when I purposely try making myself unappealing they persist. Apparently I exude some sort of animal magnetism.
Are you wearing Sex Panther cologne? I hear 60% of the time it works every time.
Aime,Never heard of that. But apparently I have a natural scent, or I cause a chemical reaction that drives women wild. I'm glad U mentioned this. Perhaps if I bathed more frequently, like once a week, I might dilute the intoxicating attractant.
It’s a quote from Anchorman.
I feel like you’re not a real person.
I am not familiar with "Anchorman". But I am curious. What is a "real person"?
I feel that you’re more of a character. Satirical perhaps. You really should watch Anchorman, one of the best comedies ever made imo.
I have actually understated my sexy nature, as I am a humble person. All I ever wanted was one true love, and a family of my own. Instead, I have become a lonely sex object. This is one of my latest songs: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hBe59ADseg4
Aime, A+ response!
Aime...I can't watch Anchorman a 2nd time because I nearly killed myself laughing the first time.That movie and Wedding Crashers, Hangover & any of those movies with Will Farrell, Vince Vaughn, Owen Wilson.( Jim Carrey is a Master of Comedy.)
Totally! Anchorman, Wedding Crashers, and Old School are probably my top 3 comedies.
Geez. Aime, you're on a roll with the one liners. Ever think about standup comedy? :)
As a Freshman in HS, Senior girls seduced me. My best friends mother (over 30) attempted to seduce me at age 14. When women exploit the male libido, "no" is not the easy option. A heroin addiction is easier to kick.
Diane, Popularity with women should have made me happy, but I am miserable.Anyone who has read my posts cannot argue with that. The richest man on Earth is the man with a family. I have only the memories of a sexy man, thus I will die a pauper
There is a solution to your loneliness!
Diane...RW swears he's" Humble." Please check your dictionary, will you? Apparently mine has a misprint or it's terribly out-dated.....Pls let me know what you find.....LMAO!!!! A SEXY pauper. Now there's a title I've never heard of.
Paula, I had an office mate who was in one of the wars where ladies were plentiful. He contracted a problem and went to the doctor for penicillin. The doctor said, "Don't worry! It will fall off in a couple of days."
Ha! Ha! Diane, I must have an immunity to STD's, as I have never had a problem. I think much of that is exaggerated. Yes, I have practiced safe sex, but not in steady relationships that lasted more than 3 days.
THREE DAYS is your definition of a steady relationship??!! OMG....Where can we start with U? U're a train wreck, buddy!! It will take some time to get U on track!! Never fear....we ladies can do it!
The power is in my hands? Career change might lessen the load but it would not solve the problem. It's not just the music. While in HS a girl (not my girlfriend) hitchhiked 16 miles to my house in the country. I am a kind person. How could I say no?
Yeah, that's pretty close, and I have always related to this song. But I started having this problem when I was still in grammar school; long before I became a local celebrity. Girls would fight over who got to set next to me on the school bus.
My grandson is having the same issue..."sorry gramma, but girls just like me." Its cute for now...but i see big trouble ahead. (Gird your loins, boy!)
It appears that your grandson may also suffer the curse of the sexy man. He will need your support and guidance, as he will be walking through a minefield of loneliness, jealousy, back-biting,desire, and angry husbands and boyfriends.
Yeah, he'll need my support no question! My husband is useless....when i told him marcus is a ladiesman, his response?? "Like grandfather like grandson. Sheeesh. No help at all!
Paula,Women I meet through my performances are attractive but not very smart, and so I quickly lose interest. I feel that if I could meet a woman with a high IQ I might settle down. Those types write 4 Hubpages, but don't frequent the venues I work.
Ronnie, Believe U have stumbled upon a possible solution. There's a good number of lovely, prolific young ladies on HP. Post an online dating ad in our Q&A.I will screen them 4 U,w/ help from others here.We'll have U married off by 2018! Deal?
Ronnie has said he is nearly 60 & that he doesn't bathe much. His posts are a way of getting attention. Ron, I'm pretty sure you're an old guy with stringy hair who has too much time on his hands. But lots of women? Nope. Good imagination, though
Paula, Good idea, but I must first tame the beast. Savvy, the reality of me, a sexy man, has left U in a state of cognitive dissonance. I have been a heartbreaker since the age of 5, and it appears someone has broken your heart. I feel your pain.
Lol. You're a funny guy. Well then, from one heartbreaker to another, "may we be sexy until the day we die." ;) ;)
Yes, and perhaps one day we will break each others hearts, as the truth is often stranger than fiction.
Yes. I live for that day....Oh, Ronnie, Oh Ronnie.
Savvy,My empathic abilities allow me to sense an individuals energy even through a computer monitor. And my vision is 20/20. I have no doubt that ours would be a great love story. But at least for now, I dare not reach for the stars.
OMG! Yves! It's FATE, girlfriend....U & Ronnie, it's meant 2B! B gentle.Try not 2 hurt the darling young stud muffin.Careful! Remember he has powers & can read UR thoughts.
Ronnie..Good Bye. U R about 2 enter Yves Twilight Zone. I pray 4
Lol, Paula. Who knew this thread would become so hilarious. Ronnie, you missed your calling---Stand-up comedy.
Thanks for the laughs!
Yves....I know! & he started out by warning us "this is no laughing matter!!"
Ronnie, U lied 2 us!! This is HILARIOUS! Who knew U of all people, have a sense of humor? A welcome change from UR ever-constant droan of woe. U surprise us! :)
Conflicted emotional extremes R compounded by the fact that I am a Chic Magnet with PTSD. What have I become but a man-whore? My good looks and charismatic demeanor have become a curse.Perhaps I am ready for love. Perhaps I will find it here.
Love here? Don't think so Ronnie. I'm pretty sure the guard won't let any of us into the padded cell. Maybe in the next life, Tiger.
I have tolerated insolence, not only because of these pretty faces, but because they are intelligent conservatives. An HP woman could provide the proper balance in the life of a sexy entertainer. I hear a voice crying in the wilderness. Is that U?
Ronnie...We HP women (as U refer 2 us) R many wonderful things, smart, sexy, versatile & compassionate. I'm afraid UR "luck" has passed U by. We no longer have the patience to train puppies. Try again when U've been house broken! BEHAVE URSELF!
fpherj48 - You do have a way with words!
I love it Paula!
Kathleen & Diane.....Thanks, girls. "Teamwork"~~Just doing my share! As much as we can love them, we can never forget they are "in training," 24/7. We can show no mercy. Pathetic darlings trip & fall so easily. Be strong. It's our job. :)
I'm chuckling over here like Billy Bush.
No greater treasure to possess; mercy made manifest, assembled from flesh and bone; Paula of N.Y., full featured and well formed. I remain steadfast, although sorely rebuked. If I must wait an eternity 4 your embrace,then I will surely live forever.
Ronnie...Valentino called. he wants his journals back.
Aha! Wrench is wooing us. He is starting a Hub harem!
Valentino is very sexy, but silent,and very dead. I am here in living color; still hungry, still waiting 4 the perfect HP woman to save me from myself. Diane, I believe in God because I believe in you. Such a divine form could never happen by chance.
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My life has been very colorful for a relatively unknown entertainer. I have never made over $30,000 a year. However, I have lived like a King in this respect. Women with money have tried to keep me as a pet. And often they are like ravenous wolves!
Aime suggests I "am" a character, as in a "phony", and U suggest I get a character as in I have no integrity. My libido notwithstanding, the word "no" can destroy a woman. Contrary to both, moral integrity and my sexy nature have conspired against me
Women can handle "no" in the long run better than being used in the short run.
And whether or not you have character or are a character, I guess depends on whether you are actually asking for help or are bragging.
I am the one being used. When a woman cannot possess me she becomes hateful, violent, and then I am left alone again. Love is not possession. I have loved them all, but have been treated as a government mule. God loves everyone. Do they hate God?
Do they beat you? I don't need the details. I'm just wondering how they force you.
My ex-wife physically attacked me on several occasions, and other jealous women have too! Some are aggressive sexually. One woman forced herself on me at a roadhouse outside of Skaneateles N.Y.. She followed me to the mens room and locked the door!
The lady really wanted you to lock herself in the men's room with you. You poor baby!
Di, It's only one example of the temptation that has hounded me since forever. It is easy for a man to say no when women are not asking, even begging him to say yes! Of course I don't get credit for the times I have said no. And I have several times
My libido insures they are a major distraction. I do not blame the woman, as we were both created by God. But it only gets worse. I have always been attracted to older women (20 years or more) . This will be a problem when I am 70.
You hope it will be a problem when you are 70.
Yes, even Rome and Babylon could not last forever. But it appears my libido is stuck on the age of 25. Perhaps there is a Chinese proverb about the happiness of a wet noodle.
Only you can get a group of folks together to discuss your sex life. You should run for president.
I hear men say that one woman is pretty and another is not. But it is difficult for me to find a woman to be unattractive. I can rarely find an adjective that is not synonymous with beautiful. It is a cruelty that I should have to choose only one.
Wrench, wait until you have an ugly baby!
Diane, Money goes to money and perfection goes to perfection. I hardly think that is even a remote possibility.
Dude, you are a ham!
Di, U, and every woman who has posted here have at least one thing in common. You are all very sexy. And I would be a perfect match for any one of U. But expecting a sexy man to say no to temptation is like expecting a man to sprout wings and to fly.
Thank U 4 seeing us as "Sexy" (I think) A perfect match 4 me?? Ron, sweetie..U will not need wings 2 fly. W/ UR multi-lovers habit,I promise, U would soar cross the sky as an eagle, @ the end of my sexy foot. Aww..blk 'n blu bummer 4 lover boy :(
Pa, I'm sure U have never had a problem getting dates. I am no stranger to angry women. One girlfriend I called "Sweet Jean" tried to run over me in a parking lot around 2 A.M in Syracuse N.Y. I was alone packing up from a gig near the Onondaga Res..
Wrench is anything but boring! Harvey Weinstein should have your charm instead of his money. Thank you for saying I'm sexy!!!
Diane. This is getting bizarre....Oh Lord, save us from this over-sexed slave master! He's attempting to hypnotize us & corral us into his underground cave of iniquity...We must stay strong! Be still, my beating heart!....
TY! UR welcome Di. Maybe I'm rich too? Paula, what we are doing here is far more intimate than physical sex, since our consciousness is the most intimate thing we possess. Would this form of multi-sex put your sexy foot in motion? And make me fly?
Paula, he is loving every minute of the attention. This is probably his alter ego. He's probably really shy in person.
Diane...I have a feeling you're absolutely on to something! Face to face, he probably blushes, stutters & looks at the ground! LMAO!!!
Haha, thanks for the laugh. you really should turn this into a hub article. I think it would only be an issue if you are still married by then. Have a great week.
Hub? Terrie, he needs to write a book.