I'm currently going thru a divorce but now I don't want to divorce. I still lov

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   kelela1976posted 14 years ago

   I'm currently going thru a divorce but now I don't want to divorce.  I still love him & want to stay
   
   We have not spoken to each other in a year, but, we've started texting and emailing.  I don't know how he feels. I want to stay in the marriage, and I want to make it work. I don't want to go through with this. Can I save this marriage, and where do I begin before it's too late, and I lose him. I still love him very much!!"

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2. 0

   Jawa Lunkposted 14 years ago

   You need to talk to him about it.
   
   I know a few people who went through this same thing, and in all three cases, they are happy now. 
   
   BUT, that is no promise you wil be happy....why are you divorcing?  has the situation that brought this about changed?  if so , how can you be sure it wont happen again?
   
   Sometimes it is better to move on.

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3. 0

   reeltaulkposted 14 years ago

   well you need to sit down and speak with your better half about your feelings.  Remove your false pride, put your ego to the side and communicate with him/her. This is the only way that things will pan out right, because both of you will be in the know.  Second guessing and asking strangers about something so intimate isn't going to benefit you in any way.

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4. 66

   mqueeposted 14 years ago

   It seems you are getting good advice, but the best is making your own decision. Talk with him and also, if both of you decide to stay together, work on continuing to have good communication between the two of you.
   I can tell you that going through a divorce is a horrific experience. Nobody is going to feel this pain but the two of you. Everyone else involved are all just spectators, make your own choice, don't rely on outsiders.

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5. 52

   Elizabeth.R.Ellenposted 13 years ago

   It's been 5 months, I hope all is well for you.
   
   It is good that you've started to text and email because communication is vital in a relationship. It you don't start somewhere, you will get nowhere.
   
   Have an open communication with him and that show that you care and will put in effort to build the relationship again. Be hopeful, because if you don't, noone will do it for you.
   
   I wish you all the best.

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   arleneyocham2024posted 13 years ago

   I have a friend who is going through the same thing.. she and her husband actually got the divorce, now they are dating all over again. It started with a late night text and has grown into a full on relationship. She says that when she started dating her husband all over again, the relationship was different, but better. They are growing to love one another all over again, but for the right reasons this time. It can work out, I have seen it! I really hope things go the way you want them to!

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7. 60

   JayDee Sterlingposted 13 years ago

   Yikes. Just the fact that you haven't spoken in a year and now you are texting, is probably a good indicator that you are not approaching the divorce nor the possibility of reconcilation very seriously. 
   
   A few friendly txt msgs doesn't really mean a whole lot.  You can text your mechanic, but it doesn't mean you want to be with him.
   Marriages, divorces, all of that is hopefully based on mutual agreement. Something happened to get you to the point of saying the word divorce.  Is that something no longer an issue, because if it is, then nothing has changed.
   
   You can't put on your red cape and save a marriage all by yourself.  People confuse divorces with levels of emotions, just because you are getting a divorce doesn't mean you turn off the emotional switches, that sort of thing comes with time.
   
   You have to think also, why haven't you spoken by phone, maybe he is already involved with someone and has to send you text messages.  And who initiated the "re-connect", was it you?  What were your motivations? You not wanting to lose him is not a good enough reason to get caught up in a fantasy, you have to determine what is real, and what is best for you.   Best wishes.

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